I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast. Patton Oswalt More Quotes by Patton Oswalt More Quotes From Patton Oswalt I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process. Patton Oswalt exit new-york thinking You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in. Patton Oswalt comedian musician guy Beyond any role that I ever had, really early on as a stand-up, I would see actors decide to try it and they would bomb miserably. What I realized was that stand-up, acting and writing are all their own disciplines. Patton Oswalt discipline writing trying When you act, you're being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It's very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they're doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded. Patton Oswalt support-systems kids reality I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage. Patton Oswalt comedian long mean Here's what I'm afraid of. I know a lot of comedians, friends of mine, who just got into the "Doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter. They're just gonna laugh anyway." Patton Oswalt comedian matter laughing Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, This is where I wanna be. Patton Oswalt comedian sitting fire When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you. Patton Oswalt materials albums people I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do. Patton Oswalt sincerely right-now thinking To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain. Patton Oswalt united-states complaining stuff Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible. Patton Oswalt team sound hair Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes. Patton Oswalt zombie fire order Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself. Patton Oswalt stand-up-comedian meals hate The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing. Patton Oswalt corporations kentucky cards My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.' Patton Oswalt rocks squares kids There are times when I have to take, I call it a “silence bath,” where I shut off all of the external gadgets. I go walk around, talk to people, and just live life for a while. Patton Oswalt silence life people I hate all sidekicks. Patton Oswalt sidekicks i-hate hate It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate. Patton Oswalt consumption method plates I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against. Patton Oswalt grew grew-up personality I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day. Patton Oswalt want conversation people