I do think that people yearn for connection and intimacy, and that they're hard things to achieve. Chelsea Martin More Quotes by Chelsea Martin More Quotes From Chelsea Martin I was re-experiencing these things that happened a long time ago, and I'm trying to relive it now, and I'm bringing all of my current motivations and personality into that which were not there at the time. It's hard to remember exactly who I was when I was ten, fifteen. Chelsea Martin motivation personality long I didn't really have a major role in how it was described. I wanted it to be a collection of essays where each storyline could be contained. Chelsea Martin essays In fiction you can make up everything to create the feeling. You can manufacture a story with whatever tools you want. With nonfiction you have to rely on what actually happened to describe what you're feeling. That's hard. You have to know what will feed into the emotion you're trying to convey. And that's hard because you don't necessarily know what causes your emotions. Chelsea Martin emotion feelings trying It's uncomfortable to just say the first thing that pops into your head, but you have to when you're speaking in front of people. A lot of times I'll say something I don't even believe. I've never actually used "pass" before. Chelsea Martin uncomfortable believe people The thing about writing or making art is that I'm not thinking about that stuff while I'm doing it. Like the driver's ed kid, in retrospect I see that that was meaningful, and I felt close to him in that way, but at the time I just thought it was fun to draw, and that's all it was. I think that's what's weird about life and about making art. You have to talk about it later. I guess I should be prepared to talk about it now. That is why I'm here. But again, pass. Chelsea Martin fun meaningful art I don't do the like, "This led to this, and this was why this happened." That doesn't feel real and isn't how I experience things. Chelsea Martin real When I was going through the stuff with my dad and thinking about terms like restraining order and domestic violence, I was really just searching for a way to define what I was going through. I didn't really understand what it meant to disown a parent or not want to have a parent in your life. Even the word parent was confusing to me because my father came into my life so late in my teen years. Chelsea Martin dad father thinking I think I've been able to express some of the more complicated feelings I had. Chelsea Martin complicated feelings thinking The last time I was asked that, I said "A Year Without Spoons." Normally you get asked the same questions over and over, so it feels boring to say the same thing. But then I was like, I don't even know another essay I like. They're all good. Chelsea Martin last-time essays boring That was an instance where I was given a word to define my confusing experience, and I'm just like, "nah." Chelsea Martin confusing I wanted each different Chelsea to be able to navigate her own world without having to also speak to a larger narrative. Chelsea Martin different speak world I want to draw subjects that seem very boring and everyday... Stuff that would be normal except for one thing. Or two things. Or stuff that's undeniably weird. Chelsea Martin everyday would-be two I like being around funny people. Chelsea Martin funny-people people People choose the most flattering photos of themselves to put on Facebook. Text messages can be vague and confusing. But conversations are confusing too. And some people wear lots of makeup. I think it's just hard to be a person. Chelsea Martin makeup people thinking My artistic process involves pens, gesso, acrylic paint, and markers, all on vellum. I use a window painter's technique and paint on the backside of my image before I mess with the front. Chelsea Martin artistic technique use I don't really like to write anywhere but my own apartment. I send a lot of text messages to myself as email when I'm not at home. My texts are usually like, "If I ever break up with my boyfriend I want to date a very angry rapper." Chelsea Martin rapper home writing I have hundreds of Word documents filled with pages of one-liners. If I begin to write a story, or if one of my thoughts leads to more than a couple paragraphs of writing, I'll go into these documents and pull out lines that I think would work with it. Chelsea Martin couple writing thinking I hide my documents in many different places on my computer, because I often write things that I would never want anybody to read, at least unedited, and I'm paranoid that someone might figure out what the password to my computer is and maliciously read my Word documents. So a lot of the time I lose things I've written and/or completely forget about them. Chelsea Martin different want writing I love anybody funny. I think my ten-year-old sister is really funny. She makes me laugh way more than most people do. Chelsea Martin people years thinking I made my first website when I was ten. I flirted using instant messages all throughout high school. I like the Internet. I like cuddling. I like my cell phone. I like awkward eye contact with strangers. I like hearing people's voices. I like parties. I like Craigslist. These things don't seem technologically exclusive to me. Chelsea Martin party eye school
