I don't know how I can be so ambitious and so lazy at the same ti... by Ned Vizzini

I don't know how I can be so ambitious and so lazy at the same time.

Ned Vizzini

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Categorized in : Know How Lazy Ambitious

You shouldn't be able to be alive and you are. You want to trade? by Ned Vizzini

You shouldn't be able to be alive and you are. You want to trade?

able alive want

The Shift is coming. The Shift has to be coming. Because if you k... by Ned Vizzini

The Shift is coming. The Shift has to be coming. Because if you keep living like this you'll die.

dies ifs

I wasn’t gifted. Mom was wrong. I was just smart and I worked hard. I had fooled myself into thinking that was something important to the rest of the world. Other people were complicit in this ruse. Nobody had told me I was common.

smart mom thinking

I've had good moments scattered since then, times when I thought I was better, but that was the last day I felt triumphant.

last-day lasts moments

Depression starts slow. by Ned Vizzini

Depression starts slow.

I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.

suicide depression lying

(...) Since I was a kid." "Which you refer to as 'back when you w... by Ned Vizzini

(...) Since I was a kid." "Which you refer to as 'back when you were happy.'" "Right.

back-when kids

I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of bei... by Ned Vizzini

I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?

sad suicide depression

I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me.

sanctuary people world

What happened when you woke up?" "I was having a dream. I don’t know what it was, but when I woke up, I had this awful realization that I was awake. It hit me like a brick in the groin." "Like a brick in the groin, I see." "I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." "And what is that nightmare, Craig?" "Life." "Life is a nightmare." "Yes.

wake-up realization dream

If there is a next life, I hope it's in the past; I don't think the future will be any more handleable. I think it's a little harsh how the END button is red.

buttons past thinking

I've started to think it must just be chemistry, in which case we're looking for the Shift and we haven't found it yet.

chemistry found thinking

I like you a lot. Because you’re funny and smart and because you seem to like me. I know that’s not a good reason, but I can’t help it; if a girl likes me I tend to like her back [...] I like you for all this stuff but I also kind of like you for the cuts on your face—

smart girl i-like-you

I just want to not be me. by Ned Vizzini

I just want to not be me.

want

I had hurt her feelings, I found out later; I didn’t know I had t... by Ned Vizzini

I had hurt her feelings, I found out later; I didn’t know I had that power.

hurt found feelings

I owe her everything and I love her and I tell her these days, although every time I say it, it gets a little diluted. I think you run out of I love yous.

running littles thinking

They always said on TV you could do anything you wanted, but here I was trying to do something and it wasn't working. I would never be able to do it.

able tvs trying

And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany. by Ned Vizzini

And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.

epiphany closest

She's pretty." (It's amazing how girls can say this and make it t... by Ned Vizzini

She's pretty." (It's amazing how girls can say this and make it the most withering insult.)

withering insult girl

The Shift hasn't happened yet, maybe it never will, but sometimes-just enough times to give me hope-my brain jars back into where it's supposed to be.

enough-time brain giving