I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman. David Walliams More Quotes by David Walliams More Quotes From David Walliams It's strange how sometimes you can be so happy it goes all the way round to sadness. David Walliams strange sadness way It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. David Walliams easier bigger danger When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they're so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fattening. David Walliams chocolate light comfort Sometimes you meet people who can't swim. And I always think: 'Oh my God, that's extraordinary.' For me, it's always been a treat I just feel really happy in the water. David Walliams water people thinking I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you. David Walliams support-you people school I think most people that do comedy write for themselves. I don't think there is any other way you can do it, really. Otherwise it would be quite cynical. David Walliams writing people thinking American culture is kind of an international culture, isn't it? British culture is a bit more unique. I think funny things are sort of funny around the world, really. David Walliams unique culture thinking I think comedy is a bit more international than people credit. I happily watch lots of American shows and American comedy films. If I did a list of the top 10 comedy films in Britain, there's no sense that it would probably be different than yours. David Walliams different people thinking Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can't rely on thinking "Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this sketch." You've got to try to work on the words. David Walliams mind writing thinking No more watching that show Small England or whatever it's called where those two idiots dress up as 'laydees'. It's a bad influence. David Walliams england dresses two We sort of expect to see men in women's clothes. It's part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly. David Walliams clothes keys men I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck. David Walliams political luck wish All human life can be found in an airport. David Walliams human-life airports found I've done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you're recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with 'Britain's Got Talent,' you're on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching - and in between you're being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch. David Walliams eight lunch two Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life. David Walliams incredibles real fiction I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it. David Walliams humour comedy thinking When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free. David Walliams swimming guilt fun Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world. David Walliams comedian successful believe There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process. David Walliams scared comedian mean I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism. David Walliams i-can criticism want