I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not. Jeremy Clarkson More Quotes by Jeremy Clarkson More Quotes From Jeremy Clarkson Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. Jeremy Clarkson motor-racingcarlove It’s what non-car people don’t get. They see all cars as just a ton and a half, two tons of wires, glass, metal, and rubber, and that’s all they see. People like you or I know we have an unshakable belief that cars are living entities… You can develop a relationship with a car and that’s what non-car people don’t get… When something has foibles and won’t handle properly, that gives it a particularly human quality because it makes mistakes, and that’s how you can build a relationship with a car that other people won’t get. Jeremy Clarkson glassesmistaketwo You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it. Jeremy Clarkson carspecialthinking Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously. Jeremy Clarkson multi-taskingabilityscrews This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.” Jeremy Clarkson sexually-transmitted-diseasessyphilispeople Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less. Jeremy Clarkson fogcuttingshould-have A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster. Jeremy Clarkson cool-carstop-gearfaster I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do? Jeremy Clarkson top-gearpoorpeople Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare. Jeremy Clarkson yawningcanadadoe Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are. Jeremy Clarkson being-smartsmarterlooks Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians? Jeremy Clarkson ironiceideas I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t Jeremy Clarkson carmirrorsreading I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing. Jeremy Clarkson realisingawfulcost If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside. Jeremy Clarkson bmwleavinghouse I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous. Jeremy Clarkson alfa-romeo We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. Jeremy Clarkson joggingoilcar The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler Jeremy Clarkson personslooks Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it? Jeremy Clarkson feareducationmen All this health and safety talk is just killing me. Jeremy Clarkson safetyhealthykilling Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze. Jeremy Clarkson ebolapartypeople
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