I found it very comforting to see that there is no such thing as a completely normal family. People find their way through whatever the differences may be. Andrew Solomon More Quotes by Andrew Solomon More Quotes From Andrew Solomon When you believe that you cannot stitch your own heart back together, go to work on the hearts of other people; there is no surer way to repair yourself than to repair them. Andrew Solomon heart believe people Life is enriched by difficulty; love is made more acute when it requires exertion. Andrew Solomon life-is made love-is A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. ... I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don't get it. Andrew Solomon crazy depression people What has become clear to me is that it is not the inherent nature of being gay that causes such a reduced life; it is, rather, the social circumstances around being gay: the perceptions of it and the cultural norms that it is said to violate. As some of those norms have changed, I have been able to be gay, to have a marriage, to have a family, and to have - if there is wood to knock on - a fortunate and happy life. Andrew Solomon gay perception happy-life There is a false moral imperative that seems to be all-around us that treatment of depression, the medications and so on, are an artifice, and that it's not natural. And I think that's very misguided. It would be natural for people's teeth to fall out, but there is nobody militating against toothpaste, at least not in my circles. Andrew Solomon circles fall thinking Being gay is immutable. Maybe someday we'll figure out more of the science and it will be changeable, but we have no leads so far. Andrew Solomon someday gay figures The world changed, and the idea of having a family became feasible for homosexuals. But I was still left with the question as to what it would be like for a child to grow up with gay parents. Andrew Solomon growing-up gay children Then I repeated these words to my spirits: 'Leave me be; give me peace; and let me do the work of my life. I will never forget you.' Something about that incantation was particularly appealing to me. 'I will never forget you'-- as though one had to address the pride of the spirits, as though one wanted them to feel good about being exorcised. Andrew Solomon feel-good pride giving People … don't want to be cured or changed or eliminated. They want to be whoever it is that they've come to be. Andrew Solomon changed want people Fixing is the illness model; acceptance is the identity model; which way any family goes reflects their assumptions and resources. Andrew Solomon acceptance identity way Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy. Andrew Solomon despair anticipation loss Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance. Andrew Solomon bereavement grief depression You need to take the traumas and make them part of who you've come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things that hurt. Andrew Solomon hurt self motivational Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger. Andrew Solomon catapults parenthood stranger Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, "Never real and always true," and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true. Andrew Solomon drawing real depression I feel, as a matter nearly of faith, that if you have known a certain amount of suffering and have emerged out of it into the light, you are obliged to share that light with as many of the still-beleaguered as possible. Andrew Solomon light suffering matter I hated being depressed, but it was also in depression that I learned my own acreage, the full extent of my soul. Andrew Solomon being-depressed mental-health soul Living with depression is like trying to keep your balance while you dance with a goat -- it is perfectly sane to prefer a partner with a better sense of balance. Andrew Solomon balance depression trying Though many schizophrenics become curiously attached to their delusions, the fading of the nondelusional world puts them in loneliness beyond all reckoning, a fixed residence on a noxious private planet they can never leave, and where they can receive no visitors. Andrew Solomon fading loneliness depression Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance. It is tumbleweed distress that thrives on thin air, growing despite its detachment from the nourishing earth. It can be described only in metaphor and allegory Andrew Solomon grief air depression
