I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and buttermilk. It is American in every chitling and sparerib. It is alive from snout to tail. H. L. Mencken More Quotes by H. L. Mencken More Quotes From H. L. Mencken By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How is it possible for a human brain to be divided into two insulated halves, one functioning normally, naturally H. L. Mencken issues men believe There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness. H. L. Mencken happiness men religion There's no underestimating the intelligence of the American public. H. L. Mencken intelligence underestimate If all the lawyers were hanged tomorrow, and their bones were sold to a mah jong factory, we'd all be freer and safer, and our taxes would be reduced by almost a half. H. L. Mencken tomorrow half would-be When I hear artists or authors making fun of businessmen, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks. H. L. Mencken artist fun thinking Consider him in his highest incarnation: the university professor. What is his function? Simply to pass on to fresh generations of numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and, in large part, untrue. His whole professional activity is circumscribed by the prejudices, vanities and avarices of his university trustees, i.e., a committee of soap-boilers, nail manufacturers, bank-directors and politicians. The moment he offends these vermin he is undone. He cannot so much as think aloud without running a risk of having them fan his pantaloons. H. L. Mencken education running thinking One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable. H. L. Mencken events should long Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. H. L. Mencken comedian freedom laughing The real man lies in the depths of subconscious. H. L. Mencken real men lying The essence of self-fulfillment and autonomous culture is an unshakable egotism. H. L. Mencken essence self culture Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. H. L. Mencken anniversary happiness love I know of no American who starts from a higher level of aspiration than the journalist. . . . He plans to be both an artist and a moralist -- a master of lovely words and merchant of sound ideas. He ends, commonly, as the most depressing jackass of his community -- that is, if his career goes on to what is called a success. H. L. Mencken depressing careers artist For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. H. L. Mencken ethics freedom simple The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think. H. L. Mencken trying religion thinking There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing. H. L. Mencken men book people To the extent that I am genuinely educated, I am suspicious of all the things that the average citizen believes and the average pedagogue teaches. H. L. Mencken average believe people The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians. H. L. Mencken democracy freedom christian We must be prepared to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it. H. L. Mencken cost half pay I'm ombibulous. I drink every known alcoholic drink and enjoy them all. H. L. Mencken alcoholics drink enjoy A mood of constructive criticism being upon me, I propose forthwith that the method of choosing legislators now prevailing in the United States be abandoned and that the method used in choosing juries be substituted. That is to say, I propose that the men who make our laws be chosen by chance and against will of all the rest of us, as now. H. L. Mencken criticism law men
