I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched Janet Evanovich More Quotes by Janet Evanovich More Quotes From Janet Evanovich Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three. Janet Evanovich doctors three pounds You owe me!" -Stephanie "Why do I owe you?" -Joe "I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie "Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe "Well if you are going to be picky about it...." -Stephanie Janet Evanovich cousin government home He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control? Janet Evanovich birth form birth-control He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better. Janet Evanovich good-man said men Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either. Janet Evanovich saws grandma littles Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob." "Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight. Janet Evanovich stars sorry sleep I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him. Janet Evanovich use helping looks I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what with being locked up in a refrigerator, I plumb forgot what was in here to start with. But being that this is a 45 magnum, the most powerful handgun in existence, and it could blow your head clean off, you just got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?" Christ," Spiro whispered. "She thinks she's f**king Clint Eastwood. Janet Evanovich grandma powerful kings A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity. Janet Evanovich potty idiot sex It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything. Janet Evanovich jersey dark rain Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs. Janet Evanovich grandma mother thinking The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting. Janet Evanovich senior grandma dog I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good. Janet Evanovich work-out grandma white I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. Janet Evanovich humble looks needs I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine. Janet Evanovich car said thinking My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. "We think this guy killed Fred." "Who's Fred?" "My uncle," I told him. "He's married to Mabel." "Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing. Janet Evanovich uncles grandma father You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said. "I just enter. I don't usually break." "You broke down Pitch's door." "Lost my temper." -Ranger and Stephanie Janet Evanovich entering skills doors My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action." -Ranger and Stephanie Janet Evanovich grandmother views weather Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie Janet Evanovich coward calling names Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure." -Morelli And Stephanie Janet Evanovich dog fall thinking
![](https://service.weibo.com/share/share.php?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/he-squinted-at-me-what-are-you-wearing-is-that-some-new-form-of-birth-control&appkey=&title=Janet Evanovich quote: He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth cont...&pic=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-1176f011ef2207af00cf0e84f3ddca14.jpg&ralateUid=&language=zh_cn){kind=link}
![](https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/he-squinted-at-me-what-are-you-wearing-is-that-some-new-form-of-birth-control&description=He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?&media=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-1176f011ef2207af00cf0e84f3ddca14.jpg){kind=link}
![](https://service.weibo.com/share/share.php?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/he-s-a-good-man-ranger-said-and-you-i-m-better&appkey=&title=Janet Evanovich quote: He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better.&pic=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-946f44a429b827cbdfa7cb03bd44870e.jpg&ralateUid=&language=zh_cn){kind=link}
![](https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/he-s-a-good-man-ranger-said-and-you-i-m-better&description=He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better.&media=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-946f44a429b827cbdfa7cb03bd44870e.jpg){kind=link}
![](https://service.weibo.com/share/share.php?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/i-don-t-know-much-about-cars-joyce-said-but-i-think-someone-took-my-engine&appkey=&title=Janet Evanovich quote: I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engin...&pic=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-a8c4793ddded554d2492315ba0bee75b.jpg&ralateUid=&language=zh_cn){kind=link}
![](https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https://whatsmyquote.com/quote/i-don-t-know-much-about-cars-joyce-said-but-i-think-someone-took-my-engine&description=I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.&media=https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-a8c4793ddded554d2492315ba0bee75b.jpg){kind=link}