I hate being idle - there are still so many things I want to do.

Angela Bowie

Categorized in : Being Things Want Hate

I didn't feel the need to rebel as a teenager. From age nine to 16, I went to school in Montreux in Switzerland, and it was heaven. I went to England for the Easter holidays, Cyprus for Christmas and summer holidays, and I was delighted to have that independence.

holidays christmas age school

My daughter Stacia was born when I was 31, after I was divorced from David, and she was my gift to myself. She was just a joy because I didn't have the stress of a male irritating me, and I vowed that I would make absolutely certain that between her and me there would be a clear line of communication at all times.

myself me communication daughter

Sadness is weak; I don't believe in weakness.

weakness sadness weak believe

David and I were divorced in 1980, and there has been silence between us ever since. Despite our decade of marriage and a child together, I was airbrushed out of his life. He never demonstrated any affection or gratitude after we parted. He fired anyone who mentioned my name.

gratitude marriage silence life

Watching David write was inspiring to me. He was at his most content composing. Music floated from his mind and fingertips. He would strum the 11 strings on his 12-string Harptone guitar and wander to the piano and play a few bars, then off to forage for rice pudding in the kitchen.

me guitar music mind

I'd never take any credit for David's music - that's all his.

never take credit music

I've always been a Marvel fan. As a kid, I would pick up a two-foot stack of comics and read them in the back of my dad's car on long journeys across the States. That's how I used to make friends - I'd meet up with other kids, and we'd swap comics.

friends car dad long

What adults don't always understand is that to a kid, a comic book is like a movie. My Marvel comics took my imagination to other places - other galaxies.

understand always imagination book

I was always interested in acting and writing, and I honestly thought I'd make my name as a scriptwriter one day. But somehow, I ended up in London in the early '70s, and that's where I had my David Bowie adventure.

name day thought adventure

During my childhood in Cyprus, the British talked about the Cypriots as if the Cypriots were outsiders in their own country. And even though I was born in Cyprus, my parents were American, and so I was an outsider in the land of my birth.

parents childhood born country

I like people who are devoted to me: men who know I'm the most fabulous thing in the world, and they just look at me with adoration. That's how my dad looked at my mom, and that's how I expected to be looked at.

look me men people

In the early days, I was everything to David. I was his creative partner, his lover, his soul mate.

partner everything creative soul

I remember giving birth in Bromley Hospital annexe. It was painful. Zowie was 8 lb. 8 oz. David was there the whole time. It was the first and only time I saw David cry.

hospital cry time remember

I love my son, but I was never there for him, so I understand why he hates me.

understand me love son

Being a grandparent doesn't interest me whatsoever. Babies are all right if they're your own, but I'm not interested in other people's. It's something you tolerate because they are yours.

your me you people

My parents had no interest in spending a lot of time with me. They were busy doing what they were doing, but they were not obnoxious. They were fabulous.

parents me busy time

I don't know how much love David felt - I suspect very little. My main appeal to him was as a nurse, cook, housekeeper, creative ally, and business adviser.

know creative business love

Looking back, I can see that my life with David was molded by forces beyond my control and even my understanding. Still, I don't regret trying.

my-life looking-back regret life