I have a magpie mind, by which I mean I see and hear little things - photos, fragments of conversation - and store them away for future use.

Laurie Graham

Categorized in : See Mind Future Little Things

Times may have changed, but there are some things that are always with us - loneliness is one of them.

some things always loneliness

As one ages, eventually, no matter what regime you've followed, no matter how fiercely you've fought the fight, good health becomes harder to maintain. It may disappear overnight or simply dwindle, but with every year that passes, the odds shorten.

good you good-health health

Childhood doesn't have to be perfect, and children don't have to be beautiful. From a bit of grit may grow a pearl, and if pearl production doesn't materialise, the outcome will still be preferable to the shallowness of vanity.

grow childhood beautiful children

My husband is leaving me. No dramas, no slammed doors - well, OK, a few slammed doors - and no suitcase in the hall, but there is another woman involved. Her name is Dementia.

name woman me husband

Personally, my interest in social history ends around 1959, by which time I was an adolescent. I've always attributed this to my particular sensibilities. I like formality and elegance, and I'm fundamentally conservative.

always elegance time history

None of us wants to be reminded that dementia is random, relentless, and frighteningly common.

random us dementia relentless

The wheels of publishing never slow down.

slow down never wheels

With Alzheimer's, recent memory is affected first. At the start, you count the memory loss in days, then hours - then in minutes. But there's also an insidious backward creep of deterioration.

memory start you loss

Sorry, I don't do castles. I hate those winding turret stairs.

stairs castles hate sorry

I think my mother was baffled by me. We were polar opposites. She was shy and retiring. I was over-fond of the limelight. Many times in my life, I was conscious of embarrassing her with my carrying on.

my-life me mother life

Sundown is often the worst time of day for people with dementia. They can become restless and difficult.

day difficult time people

My mother was a fastidious and orderly homemaker. I was the messy but creative type. I picture her following behind me through life with a damp rag and an air of exasperation.

picture me mother life

I know my parents loved me - they certainly did everything they could for me - but displays of affection were kept on a distinctly low flame.

flame loved parents me

Dementia is quite unlike cancer or heart disease or any of those other conditions where you bargain with God for a cure or even just a bit more time.

you god heart time

I'd like to see my grandchildren climb trees, not stand under them. I'd like to see them learn to make bread and brown it over a fire using my toasting fork.

climb stand see fire

I almost always use first person voice in my novels. It has its limitations, but it gives a sense of immediacy that's hard to create with an anonymous, all-seeing narrator.

person always hard voice

Characters develop as the book progresses, but any that start to bore me end up in the wastepaper basket. In real life, we may have to put up with tedious people, but not in novels.

me life book people

As well as writing novels and doing short-order journalism, I am also the full-time carer of my husband, who has Alzheimer's. Each day feels like a race that must be run.

i-am day journalism husband

Not so very long ago, certainly well into the Thirties, a lady companion was a normal feature of life for widows or lone spinsters.

well lady life long

The word 'carer' makes me think of someone with a nylon overall and a long list of 'clients' to wash before she finishes her shift. A companion was something unique. A kind of live-in friend.

friend me unique long