I love Austin, but last time I was in town for twelve hours. I was exhausted, drunk and miserable. But none of that was Austin's fault. Anthony Jeselnik More Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik More Quotes From Anthony Jeselnik I think my friend Jeff is gay. I don't know - I'm so bad with names. Anthony Jeselnik gay names thinking I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Anthony Jeselnik syndromes drink alcohol I didn't care about the backlash. I think the reason it was so severe was because they didn't know anything about me in New Zealand. If I had made jokes about a shark attack in the US, no one would have cared. Anthony Jeselnik sharks care thinking Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way. Anthony Jeselnik black way It's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents. Anthony Jeselnik grandparent suicide thinking It seemed fun to play a villain on stage and I wanted my jokes to be so good that I could just calmly tell them on stage. Anthony Jeselnik villain play fun Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst. Anthony Jeselnik racism people thinking I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place. Anthony Jeselnik one-line stuff thinking You can't expect everyone to laugh or applaud you for doing edgy things. Sometimes you'll miss. But I think comedians are artists and there's a value in failure. It kind of works both ways between comedians and audiences. The audience has to understand that comedians are going to sometimes tell a joke that doesn't work out with dark subjects, and the comedian has to understand that sometimes they 'll fail and it's not the audience's fault for not getting it or loving it. Anthony Jeselnik artist dark thinking I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves. Anthony Jeselnik tv-shows tvs firsts I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor. Anthony Jeselnik guy men ideas My favorite part of going to a wedding is ruining the wedding. Anthony Jeselnik my-favorite With comics, you always talk about a big break, but there are a lot of big breaks in your life and not one of them makes a big difference. Anthony Jeselnik differences bigs break An offended audience member repeating a comedian's act from memory is worse than, literally, anything. Anthony Jeselnik members comedian memories Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’. Anthony Jeselnik remembers-you remember-you years Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball. Anthony Jeselnik wish soccer I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have to take what the audience says to you in consideration. Anthony Jeselnik trying people thinking Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release. Anthony Jeselnik laughing people thinking Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ. Anthony Jeselnik jew kings christ I wish my family had taken more pictures when I was growing up. Instead of always having to draw everything. Anthony Jeselnik growing-up taken wish
