I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me. Bill Burr More Quotes by Bill Burr More Quotes From Bill Burr Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows. Bill Burr tv-shows stones people I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it. Bill Burr type found stuff You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it. Bill Burr able guy way Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It's not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it's a pile of rocks next to a highway. There's actually a highway right next to it, but you don't see that in pictures. Bill Burr rocks book looks Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups. Bill Burr routine comedy acting I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup. Bill Burr comedian acting periods I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous. Bill Burr swine ridiculous flu Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing. Bill Burr dave shows If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene. Bill Burr lines trying way My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half. Bill Burr half mouths running People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can curse it's more like satellite radio. Most of the podcasters were morning guys who were fired when Clear Channel decimated the radio landscape. Bill Burr guy morning people I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it. Bill Burr england fun people Did you ever spell a word so bad that your spell check has absolutely no clue what you're trying to spell? What do you end up getting, you end up getting, like, a question mark. You got a million dollars of technology just looking back at you like, 'You got me, buddy. Which is pretty amazing because I have all the words.' Bill Burr me you looking-back technology Rich people never go to war. You ask a college kid to go to war, and he's like, 'Umm, I'm taking this sociology class, and I think war is, like, really stupid, and my roommate's, like, half Afghani, so it's going to cause some static.' Bill Burr you stupid war people People focus too much on whether there's a Democrat or a Republican in office. It's not like this guy Kim-Jong Un got into power the second Trump got into power. It's not like he wasn't a problem. It's not like we haven't had warmongers. It's not like corporations haven't been the main influence on what we're doing around the world. Bill Burr focus power people world As far as my mindset changing, I see myself having more empathy in my older age. Bill Burr see myself empathy age The Giants beating the undefeated Patriots, that's all a joke. The star of a reality show is going to run the country. The guy who decided if Bret Michaels or Cyndi Lauper would make a better CEO for a company that doesn't exist is going to be running stuff. Bill Burr joke better country reality The word 'ranting' is kind of overused now. Literally, if you just talk about a subject for 30 seconds or more, even if you never raised your voice, if I just talk about it, it's called a rant. Bill Burr your never you voice You probably need 1/10 of the world's population for us to continue to exist. There's just too many damn people. You have to somehow get us from 7 billion people to... I don't know what the magic number is, but I imagine at some point, that will happen. And I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm making the cut. Bill Burr you magic people world You have to show up at 7 in the morning and be on like it's 9 at night. It's a skill. Some comics run from it, and they hate doing it, but the comics that are pros understand how important it is, and they get good at it. Bill Burr good you hate morning