I'm going to give you my little secret -- I record it. I can come home and I have recorded 61 episodes of' Family Feud,' because it's on all day long, it's on all day long and by law it has to be on all day long. But then, what I do is I take the time to fast forward in each episode all the way to Fast Money. Cause that to me is the excitement part of the show. I skip the early rounds because I don't always respect their tactics.

Bill Murray

Categorized in : Entertainment

Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.

Bill Murray

play golf kids

Drinking again? Go to hell. All I ever do is make some movies that made a lot of money now leave me alone, I want to have some fun.

Bill Murray

drinking leave-me-alone fun

My first movie, I got nominated for a Canadian Oscar-for Meatballs. For MEATBALLS. And who am I up against? George C. Scott. So he wins the award and I stand up and go, 'That's it-let's get the hell outta here.'

Bill Murray

awards acting winning

I act like a jerk sometimes.

Bill Murray

jerk sometimes

The only good thing about fame that I've gotten is I've gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I've gotten into a restaurant when I didn't have a suit and tie on. That's really about it.

Bill Murray

suits couple ties

I didn't get into this position by being like a stiff sitting on the set in a folding chair. I did it by walking around on the streets and stirring things up.

Bill Murray

folding chairs sitting

You know the theory of cell irritability? If you take an amoeba cell and poke it a thousand times, it will change and then re-form into its original shape. And then, the thousandth time you poke this amoeba, the cell will completely collapse and become nothing. That's kind of what it's like being famous. People say hi, how are you doing, and after the thousandth time, you just get angry; you really pop.

Bill Murray

cells acting people

The truth is, anybody that becomes famous is an ass for a year and a half. You've got to give them a year and a half, two years. They are getting so much smoke blown, and their whole world gets so turned upside down, their responses become distorted. I give everybody a year or two to pull it together because, when it first happens, I know how it is.

Bill Murray

giving two years

In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can't help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They're very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you're there.

Bill Murray

japan helping ideas

Buddy Hackett [was] talking - this is Hackett, not me - about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families ... the look of absolute horror. He's going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It's just total horror, and the camera's still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, "Anything else, Bud?"

Bill Murray

say-anything talking children

We're creating a TV show of Scrooge, starring Jamie Farr, with Buddy Hackett as Scrooge. We're shooting in this Victorian set for weeks, and Hackett is pissed all the time, angry that he's not the center of attention, and finally we get to the scene where we've gotta shoot him at the window, saying, "Go get my boots," or whatever. The set is stocked with Victorian extras and little children in Oliver kind of outfits, and the director says, "All right, Bud - just give it whatever you want." And Hackett goes off on a rant. Unbelievably obscene.

Bill Murray

tv-shows creating children

I met a woman who photographed celebrity dogs for a book, and she told me that Ralph Lauren's dog is named Rugby. I said, Yeah, but his real name is Stickball.

Bill Murray

real dog book

I don't want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.

Bill Murray

bars guy want

Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business.

Bill Murray

standards fields shows

Here's the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don't get there, we're both fired.

Bill Murray

downsizing faster ifs

The first year I had money, I really went shopping. I got really caught up in it. I bought all my brothers sets of luggage, and I bought 'em winter coats from Giorgio Armani - winter coats. And I got a pair of socks from this brother.

Bill Murray

brother winter years

[My brother] lived in a dry gulch where the world of socks and shoes became extremely fascinating, and he felt that everyone needs a good pair of socks, and why not limit his gift giving to something that everybody needs? He thought that there was something humorous about it. So he gives socks.

Bill Murray

shoes humorous brother

Somewhere there's a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you can.

Bill Murray

score obligation life

Yeah, I think that's sort of the American way. And it's also the Polish way, it turns out.

Bill Murray

yeah way thinking

All of us kids ended up 'doing Mom.' There are four of us who've tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.

Bill Murray

dance mom kids