I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking Artie Lange More Quotes by Artie Lange More Quotes From Artie Lange I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine. Artie Lange mad careers two Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy. Artie Lange awards real writing All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred. Artie Lange valleys mountain purpose My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be. Artie Lange my-dad dad mind I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something. Artie Lange artist wish dark I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete. Artie Lange athlete kids I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro. Artie Lange names running country I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say. Artie Lange darling critics might I got into comedy so I could stay out all night. Artie Lange all-night comedy night Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut. Artie Lange comedy successful dream Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38. Artie Lange website depressing people Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death. Artie Lange being-depressed website firsts 'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty. Artie Lange sports way world By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long. Artie Lange plans age long I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Artie Lange nocturnal comic It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this. Artie Lange fine play cards I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of what it was like to be a kid, where everything is carefree and fun. Artie Lange fun father kids And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard. Artie Lange stars looks I like gambling on stuff that you don't know anything about. That's when it's exciting. Artie Lange gambling exciting stuff It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs. Artie Lange drug problem running
