I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh. Scott Adams delusion mind window Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness. Scott Adams function levels awareness 'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip. Scott Adams dilbert theme jobs I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message. Scott Adams mail messages giving Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information. Scott Adams decision doe writing I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of lightning attacks on people who deserve it. Scott Adams god believe people The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly. Scott Adams horse jesus thinking And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing. Scott Adams surfing technology serious I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change. Scott Adams cosmetics assuming insanity The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains. Scott Adams marketing technique giving Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. Scott Adams dilbert reason children Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words. Scott Adams light science knowledge We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings. Scott Adams optimization initiative keys One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. Scott Adams tiny brain way My investments have been hurt. Scott Adams been-hurt investment hurt It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation. Scott Adams sense-of-humor corporations people I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately. Scott Adams financial risk emotional If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible. Scott Adams reading love-you book Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions. Scott Adams simple trying religion The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy. Scott Adams guy knowing doubt
