I'm so grateful, i can't tell you how much I've been smiling. Colton Underwood More Quotes by Colton Underwood More Quotes From Colton Underwood I have a lot of love for a lot of things in my life. Colton Underwood my-life things love life Throughout my football career, I've always been somebody who's been very aware, and I know when the camera is on me, and I know how to be polished. I can see how that might come off as disingenuous. Colton Underwood camera me i-can football For a long time, I was just a football player, but I want people to see me for who I am. Colton Underwood i-am me time football I'm not this perfect dude. Colton Underwood dude perfect I want to find a wife. I want to find somebody who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Colton Underwood my-life rest wife life I want to find somebody who is going to be a mother to my children. Colton Underwood find mother want children My mom had me when she was 24, so I want to be a young, cool dad. Colton Underwood cool me dad mom I want to have some fun with my kids growing up. Colton Underwood some growing-up want fun Being a virgin doesn't mean you can't have a good time. Colton Underwood being good you time For me, that was my wake-up call, like, 'This is your life. Take back control,'. Colton Underwood I can list a bunch of different things but they'd all be excuses. I think overall the reason why now is I got to a place where I didn't think I was ever going to share this. I got to a place where I'd rather die than think I was gay. Colton Underwood I thought that I found someone who could change me, after the breakup with Cassie Randolph, it was pretty rough. I hit rock bottom. I took a lot of Xanax, not thinking I was going to wake up the next morning. I did and it was really bad. Colton Underwood It's not who I am as a human being, and it's not how I carry myself, i want this interview to be the last time I address her because it's not fair for her to have her name in articles every time I talk. I'm sorry, and I want her to know that I hope she has the best, most beautiful life. Colton Underwood I remember feeling so guilty, like ‘What the hell am I doing?’ It was my first time letting myself even go there, so much so that I was like, ‘I need 'The Bachelorette'in my life, so I could be straight. Colton Underwood I've ran from Colton Underwood for a long time, I've hated Colton Underwood for a long time. I'm gay. I came to terms with that earlier this year, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know, i'm the happiest and healthiest I've ever been in my life. That means the world to me. Colton Underwood If I'm being very honest, I loved everything about her. Colton Underwood Today Cassie asked the court to dismiss the temporary restraining order against me. The two of us were able to reach a private agreement to address any of Cassie’s concerns, i do not believe Cassie did anything wrong in filing for the restraining orders and also believe she acted in good faith. I appreciate everyone’s respect for privacy regarding this matter. Colton Underwood I would like to say sorry for how things ended. I messed up, i made a lot of bad choices. Colton Underwood I think looking back even beyond on that, even just suicidal thoughts and driving my car close to a cliff, 'Oh, if this goes off the cliff, it's not that big of a deal,' I don't feel that anymore. Colton Underwood I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it. The next step in all of this was sort of letting people know. I'm still nervous, but it's been a journey for sure. Colton Underwood