I'm willing to take the blame if the strip goes down the drain, and I want the credit if it succeeds. So long as it has my name on it, I want it to be mine. Bill Watterson More Quotes by Bill Watterson More Quotes From Bill Watterson Heck, what's a little extortion among friends? Bill Watterson extortion cynicism littles CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien. Bill Watterson sarcastic hero feet HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once. Bill Watterson technology trying people That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. Bill Watterson problem trying science I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track. Bill Watterson track laughing interesting I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts. Bill Watterson nagging doubt listening CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God. Bill Watterson holiday guy religious When birds burp, it must taste like bugs. Bill Watterson bugs taste bird Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience. Bill Watterson experience body talking Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar? Bill Watterson hey your-face faces Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen. Bill Watterson inscrutable omen boys Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well. Bill Watterson president missing boys Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess. Bill Watterson excess indulge-in financial Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am? Bill Watterson dad three morning I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point. Bill Watterson hate stories thinking I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction. Bill Watterson imagine dark thinking Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes. Bill Watterson loopholes I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal. Bill Watterson surreal littles trying I'd hate to have a kid like me. Bill Watterson like-me hate kids Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what. Bill Watterson slugs girl purpose