I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it. Bill Maher More Quotes by Bill Maher More Quotes From Bill Maher People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine. Bill Maher peopleartthinking I love trains. It's the only way to travel anymore where it doesn't involve a TSA agent slowly tracing the curve of my inner thigh. Bill Maher tsaagentscurves New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President Bush like he's an infallible king, they need to start addressing him as if he was an infallible king. And they can do this by addressing him as "my liege". Bill Maher presidentkingsneeds One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time. Bill Maher atheismlittlesreligion No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one. Bill Maher electionchoicesperfect Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a job, if you're not rich, don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the banks, blame yourself.' And a nation of out of work teabaggers said, 'Yeah! Hey, wait a minute.' Bill Maher wallwaitingjobs I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote for me? Bill Maher weedrunningbaby Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Bill Maher meanreligionthinking [Obamacare] was going to be the Republicans' big issue, and they're not talking about it because it's working. Bill Maher obamacareissuestalking What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'? Bill Maher flagsteamdoe If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments. Bill Maher gunpeoplereligion You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists, and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy. Now, 20% is hardly a majority. But it's a bigger minority than blacks, jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers, or seniors... and it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that we're not the crazy ones! Bill Maher seniorteacherjesus To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is. Bill Maher uteruscellsresearch You can't deny that religion has done some good. It organizes lots of anti-poverty programs and soup kitchens and missionary work. But I would say that, first of all, all those things can be accomplished without religion. You can be ethical, somebody who does the right thing without feeling that he has to in order to get his ass saved in the next life. Bill Maher soup-kitchensfeelingsorder Every election, roughly half the population votes Democrat and the other half votes Republican. Now, I understand why the Republicans get one percent of the vote - the richest one percent.That other percent, someone will have to explain to me. Bill Maher electionpopulationhalf We don't really have to make fun of religion - it makes fun of itself. Bill Maher fun It's so easy to demagogue the issue and make someone who speaks out against the internal-combustion engine sound like an insane communist, when the truth is that the internal-combustion engine is the biggest threat to my life in the next 25 years, in terms of what it's doing to our environment and how it's depleting the ozone layer and so forth. Bill Maher ozonespeaks-outissues Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag. Bill Maher pretzelsbags I didn't really think a lot about religion, but I didn't really think a lot against it, either. I was one of those people who didn't go to church, but when I got in trouble I kinda pleaded with God - whoever that was. Bill Maher churchpeoplethinking There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.' Bill Maher awkwardblackmen
