I open a paperclip and scratch it across the inside of my left wrist. Pitiful. If a suicide attempt is a cry for help, then what is this. A whimper, a peep? I draw little window cracks of blood, etching line after line until it stops hurting. Laurie Halse Anderson More Quotes by Laurie Halse Anderson More Quotes From Laurie Halse Anderson Picasso.” He whispers like a priest. “Picasso. Who saw the truth. Who painted the truth, molded it, ripped from the earth with two angry hands. Laurie Halse Anderson earth two hands Used to be that my whole body was my canvas-hot cuts licking my ribs, ladder rungs climbing my arms, thick milkweed stalks shooting up my thighs. Laurie Halse Anderson ribs climbing cutting They say they have noticed me drawing. I almost tell them right then and there. They noticed. Laurie Halse Anderson drawing I want to be in fifth grade again. Now, that is a deep dark secret, almost as big as the other one. Fifth grade was easy -- old enough to play outside without Mom, too young to go off the block. The perfect leash length. Laurie Halse Anderson block mom dark If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem. Laurie Halse Anderson clans anarchy cheerleader It's easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school. Laurie Halse Anderson wire easier school I wish America would stop judging and criticizing teens and instead, try to understand the battles they have to fight every day. Laurie Halse Anderson fighting judging america Bologna girl, that's me. Laurie Halse Anderson bologna girl They yell at me because I can't see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Laurie Halse Anderson because-i-can different eye Do they choose to be so dense? Were they born that way? I have no friends. I have nothing. I say nothing. I am nothing. Laurie Halse Anderson no-friends speak way I like cheeseburgers too much to be a model. Laurie Halse Anderson cheeseburger models too-much I nod like I’m listening,like we’re communicating, and she never knows the difference. Laurie Halse Anderson communicate differences listening I doubt trees are ever told to 'be the screwed-up ninth-grader.' Laurie Halse Anderson screwed-up doubt tree I swallowed the fear. It’s always there– fear– and if you don’t stay on top of it, you’ll drown. I swallowed again and stood tall, shoulders broad, arms loose. I was balanced, ready to move. My body said, “Yeah, you’re bigger and stronger, but if you touch this, I will hurt you. Laurie Halse Anderson stronger hurt moving Think about love, or hate, or joy, or pain- whatever makes you feel something, makes your palms sweat, or your toes curl. Focus on that feeling. When people don't express themselves, they die on piece at a time. Laurie Halse Anderson pain hate thinking The constitution does not recognize different classes of citizenship based on time spent living in the country. I am a citizen, with the same rights as your son, or you. As a citizen, and as a student, I am protesting the tone of this lesson as racist, intolerant, and xenophobic. Laurie Halse Anderson rights country son Don't expect to make a difference unless you speak up for yourself. Laurie Halse Anderson making-a-difference differences speak The stars whirled above us and the firecrackers blazed. The moon stood watch as drops of blood fell, careless seeds that sizzled in the snow. Laurie Halse Anderson stars moon blood I was good at digging holes. It was the rest of life I sucked at. Laurie Halse Anderson digging rest-of-life digging-a-hole I inscribe three lines, hush hush hush, into my skin. Ghosts trickle out. Laurie Halse Anderson lines three skins
