I really have to edit myself - I need someone with a censor button around me all the time. I'm just a little unaware of what's deemed appropriate. Andy Dick More Quotes by Andy Dick More Quotes From Andy Dick The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else. Andy Dick unconventional internet comedy It's kind of hard to believe that people love me. Andy Dick kind believe people My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything. Andy Dick neglected parent Yes, I direct commercials as well. I get these really weird offers and then I have to bid on them and win the job. One offer that I have now, and I've already done this last year for the same company, is for Cash Value Cheese, this cheese out in the midwest. I did two spots for them last year and I'm going to probably do three this year. I also did some for the Utah Transit Authority, which was weird and interesting and they turned out really funny - they actually won an award. Andy Dick winning jobs two I guess I'm odd-looking. I'm skinny. But I'm not only skinny - I'm oddly shaped. Andy Dick skinny odd I'm really ultra-affected by things, I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and offended and sensitive and I'm almost paranoid very easily, and that's who I am. Andy Dick hats cry who-i-am Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual! Andy Dick bisexual gay people It's pretty hard to offend me. I actually think people are a little too easily offended. Andy Dick offended people thinking I don't like the word power, because I don't really care about power. No, that's not what it is. I like that I make people feel good. I like that I take them out of their mundane, boring slumber. And I wake them up, and they have fun. Andy Dick feel-good fun people I believed in God my whole life, and then strayed away from it in my teen-age years, until recently. Andy Dick whole-life age years I was a bad boy as a child. Andy Dick bad-boy boys children You cannot be this successful without having God on your side. Andy Dick your-side two-sides successful I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartmann. Andy Dick play two people I went to network on a handful of pilots, and going to network is the most stressful situation anybody can ever be in. You're supposed to be on point, you're supposed to be at the top of your game, the funniest you can be, in about five minutes, in front of people wearing suits who really don't care, and they've probably already picked their person, but they have to see a handful just to satisfy the process. It's the most horrible, horrible process known to man. I wouldn't want anybody to go through it. Andy Dick stressful-situations games men I never really worked with Chris Farley, I hung out with him, but I had plans, I had big plans, movies, and I was in no hurry. Andy Dick plans hung bigs I laugh when I see people in pain. Sometimes I think it is a defense mechanism from childhood, where you're in so much pain you have to laugh. It is a survival mechanism. Andy Dick pain laughing thinking I believed in God my whole life. Andy Dick whole-life whole I have a very dark sense of humor. Andy Dick sense-of-humor dark Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one time I pretended I was a Christian comic. Andy Dick christian goes-on people I used to steal a lot. But I don't do that anymore, because I believe in karma. Andy Dick karma stealing believe