I tell people Baltimore is lucky to be rid of the Colts, they're so lousy, but I don't mean it. Art Donovan More Quotes by Art Donovan More Quotes From Art Donovan The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up. Art Donovan drinking blow beer You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises. Art Donovan toilets bigs water He runs like a camel. A really pissed off camel. Art Donovan pissed-off nfl running I have no ax to grind. I was lucky. I played. How many guys play high school, college football never play pro football? Art Donovan college football school The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore. Art Donovan mother football two We didn't have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer. Art Donovan nfl cases beer Well the frog men finally got Rosie. Art Donovan frogs nfl men I never met a cold cut I didn't like. Art Donovan mets cold cutting I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat. Art Donovan funny-american-football nfl light Both sides of my family had come from Ireland in the 19th century for the same reason: There was nothing to eat over there. Since then, I've tried to make up for the potato famine by making the potato the only vegetable that passes these lips. Art Donovan potatoes vegetables sides The only weight I ever lifted weighed 24 ounces. It was a Schlitz. I always replaced my fluids. Art Donovan replaced fluid weight I guess telling stories is an art. I never looked at it that way. I just started talking, and everyone started laughing. So I kept talking, and they kept laughing. Art Donovan talking laughing art I was 17 pounds when I was born. My mother couldn't walk for three weeks. Art Donovan three pounds mother I came to my first Colts training camp in July of 1950, and it was murder, absolute murder. We had a coach named Clem Crow who must have been nuts. You got to remember that I'd been a Marine, had gone through basic training and spent 26 months in the Pacific during WWII, but the Marine drill instructors had nothing on Clem. Art Donovan july marine nuts I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza. Art Donovan vegetables dog hot There's a lady up in heaven who must be very proud of the way the people in Baltimore have treated her boy from the Bronx. Art Donovan boys heaven people Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I'd walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops. Art Donovan wife half doors I went to college to play football, not to study it. Art Donovan college play football People tell me if I don't eat vegetables, I'm going to get scurvy. Well, what the hell. But I was never overweight as a player. There was a clause in my contract that said I had to weigh in at 270 every Friday morning. I always made it. I'd have dinner on Monday, and then I wouldn't eat until Friday. Art Donovan friday monday morning I'm not like some guys who, if the Ravens lose, are ready to jump off the top of M&M Stadium. There are other things in life besides pro football. Art Donovan jump lose football life