I think all the garbage in the world is thanks to a very small handful of idiots. Jeff Dunham More Quotes by Jeff Dunham More Quotes From Jeff Dunham I don't think I am very easy to work for because everything has to be just right or we don't put it out. But at the same time, all the people that work for me have a "no asshole" rule, if you're a jerk you're fired, so it's a great team and a lot of skillful people at the top of the game, anybody from management to the agents to the publicists to the day-to-day website stuff and it's just a great team. Jeff Dunham team games thinking I love touring, I love doing the live show and it's just like a musical artist, you just keep coming up with material and as long as you're coming up with the material and as long as audiences like it, you just keep doing it, it's your job. Jeff Dunham artist jobs long There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity. Jeff Dunham comedian adversity Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday, I was there for every major event. Jeff Dunham events girl littles [In my bio] is no drunk driving, there's no DUI's, there's no possession of cocaine, none of that stuff so you know, I don't know if that's good or bad. Everybody loves dirty laundry. Jeff Dunham dui drunk dirty Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer. Jeff Dunham biographies ghost people The roadwork is just rehearsal for that DVD you're going to film a year later. Jeff Dunham rehearsal dvds years I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just pretty much an average kid, no stand-out abilities, nothing note-worthy. Jeff Dunham girl sports kids I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect. Jeff Dunham aspect perfect trying There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the middle of the day and then pieces those together later. Jeff Dunham live-life real writing A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show. Jeff Dunham stage shows stuff The kids who come backstage that have cancer or whatever, make them laugh and smile for a little while, what's the problem with that? There isn't any. Jeff Dunham cancer laughing kids I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while. Jeff Dunham nice husband real If people are still buying tickets, and still buying the DVDs, and they're still watching on YouTube and my fifteen minutes of fame isn't finished yet, then I'll just keep doing it. Jeff Dunham dvds fifteen people I hate the beach - I'm a mountain guy. I'd much rather face a bear than a shark. Jeff Dunham sharks hate beach I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer. Jeff Dunham prius picks used I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech. Jeff Dunham christian jobs believe If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Jeff Dunham smurf color doe I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist. Jeff Dunham majority trying laughing I'm a geek to the bone. Jeff Dunham bones geek
