I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing. Bruce Lansky More Quotes by Bruce Lansky More Quotes From Bruce Lansky We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance. Bruce Lansky instance suffering golf On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied. Bruce Lansky lied golf cheating I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine. Bruce Lansky beer play golf Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife. Bruce Lansky wife golf thinking Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. Bruce Lansky balls golf talking My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time. Bruce Lansky games feelings golf Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder. Bruce Lansky rays play golf What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole? Bruce Lansky balls golf water You always nag the one you love Bruce Lansky one-you-love When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!' Bruce Lansky fetch dog baby The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. Bruce Lansky finding-love mother love-is In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms. Bruce Lansky minnesota night two My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf. Bruce Lansky play golf people I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight. Bruce Lansky golf long thinking The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray. Bruce Lansky bags bugs golf
