I've now got a 35,000-word document of quotes from people who hate me, a lot from the 'Guardian' comment threads. Mostly, I've managed to get myself into the mindset where the criticism is quite affirming. Stewart Lee More Quotes by Stewart Lee More Quotes From Stewart Lee I was sorry to see the News of the World go down, I think it was a great campaigning newspaper. Who can forget the News of the World's high profile campaign against child sex offenders which led to News of the World readers burning down the home of a paediatrician, throwing rocks at a pedalo, stamping on a centipede. Stewart Lee sorry children sex In the past few months I've become religious, I've started to believe in god, creationism and intelligent design, and the reason that I now believe in god and creationism and intelligent design is because of Professor Richard Dawkins. Because when I look at something as complex and intricate and beautiful as Professor Richard Dawkins, I don't think that just could've evolved by chance! Professor Richard Dawkins was put there by god to test us, like fossils. And facts. Stewart Lee religious beautiful believe If political correctness has achieved one thing, it’s that it has made the Conservative party cloak their inherent racism behind more creative language Stewart Lee party creative racism I knew about things like Iggy Pop and The Velvet Underground, weirdly, before I knew about David Bowie. I didn't know what David Bowie was, when I was a kid. I thought he was like Visage. Stewart Lee velvet pops kids I'm really glad I'm not on Twitter. Because I'd have to be answering things that I didn't really know anything about, and I'd rather just wait for the dust to settle and then say something. Stewart Lee settling dust waiting Generally, a lot of the things people think are made up are real, a lot of the things people think are real are made up, a lot of the things people think are spontaneous are cleverly faked, and a lot of the things people think are fake are spontaneous. Stewart Lee real people thinking I’m just confusing the thrill of being young with the notion that the era in which I was young was in any way especially creative or remarkable. Stewart Lee thrill confusing creative In short, if Cameron said “bunch of migrants” by accident, he is a dick, but if he said it on purpose, in order to draw the eye, dead-cat-style, away from the Google atrocity, which he did, then he is a bastard, which is worse. Stewart Lee Nothing is too controversial, but you have to think about how to do it with sensitivity. I don't try to be insensitive. I think really, really carefully about exactly what things mean and how they will affect people. Stewart Lee nothing think you people You get annoyed about things in real life, and then the tragic thing is that while you are moaning on the awful injustice and suffering of something, something grimly comic will then strike you about it, like a parasite feeding off the misery of the world. Stewart Lee you suffering life world I don't mind causing offence when I intend to, but I don't like causing it accidentally. Stewart Lee accidentally like offence mind Lots of stand-up showcases on TV are made by production companies that also represent acts as clients, so there tends to be a demonstrable bias towards a certain group of people. Stewart Lee group bias clients people The me you see on stage is largely a construct, based on me at my worst, my most annoying, my most petty, and my most patronizing. Stewart Lee see me you worst I really, really love being on stage now. Stewart Lee being now stage love Oh, I can't sleep, whatever - it's a huge problem. The comedian's thing is you self-medicate with alcohol and knock yourself out - but obviously, that's not a long-term strategy. Stewart Lee yourself you alcohol sleep If a gig goes badly, my main worry is, 'Will these people come back?' Because that will affect my ability to pay the mortgage - but nowadays, I don't really mind what happens, as I think if it all goes wrong for real, you still have to go with it. Stewart Lee think you mind people I work a lot of things out on stage nowadays rather than writing them in big blocks. Stewart Lee things stage work writing Sometimes, I read that I'm this leftwing comic who just goes on about politics the whole time. Other times, I read that it's just surreal nonsense about crisps. It's both of those. Stewart Lee nonsense politics time sometimes I don't know where the ideas come from, and it's terrifying. They seem to be absolute flukes. When I was in my 20s, I'd walk around with a notebook all the time and make sure I wrote down anything that occurred to me. Now I'm just hoping that some sort of event will descend on me. Stewart Lee walk me time ideas I think Russell Brand's books should be criticised for being rubbish - but it is true that there's a professional class of opinion-former who has a financial interest in their job not being taken away. Stewart Lee professional true job think
