I've worked hard to remember it...The problem is I'm not sure what's real memory and what's my brain filling in details, like a guy whose heart stops and he thinks he sees a bright light. Except I'm sure of my bright light. Phil Klay More Quotes by Phil Klay More Quotes From Phil Klay I'd been in college studying English creative writing and history when I made the decision to join the Marines in the runup to the Iraq war. Phil Klay decision college war history Sometimes macho language is to mask things people are not ready to deal with. Phil Klay mask language sometimes people Marines and soldiers don't issue themselves orders; they don't send themselves overseas. United States citizens elect the leaders who send us overseas. Phil Klay marines soldiers us who When I first came back from Iraq, I of course found myself thinking a lot about it. Not just my experiences, but those of people I talked to, friends, and colleagues. Phil Klay myself colleagues people thinking There's a wide spectrum between a Navy SEAL hero-killer and a traumatized victim, but those are the archetypes - hashed and rehashed in the media, in popular culture, in the minds of people with a lot of preconceived notions but not much else. Phil Klay navy media culture people I have friends with post-traumatic stress - friends with post-traumatic stress who are, you know, highly successful, capable people. Phil Klay you friends stress people There's a very particular way that the military speaks. There's a lot of profanity and a lot of acronyms. Phil Klay speaks very military way In war, it feels like everything you're doing is more important because you're in the proximity of violence and death, and that proximity changes your relationship to America because it changes the way you see the world. Phil Klay you relationship war death People lie to themselves all the time about what they've been through and what it means - I'm no exception. But you write those lies down - lies that really matter to you and that are really painful to let go of because they've become a part of who you are - and they don't work. Phil Klay you work time people You're not supposed to risk your life just for the physical safety of American citizens - you're supposed to risk your life for American ideals as well. Phil Klay your you safety life After the fighting is done, and even when it's still happening, apologies are often needed for the recounting of bare facts. Sometimes bare facts feel unpatriotic. Phil Klay feel fighting sometimes facts The notion that war forever separates veterans from the rest of mankind has been long embedded in our collective consciousness. Phil Klay rest forever war long If we fetishize trauma as incommunicable, then survivors are trapped - unable to feel truly known by their nonmilitary friends and family. Phil Klay feel trauma friends family I was a public affairs officer. I worked with the media, but I didn't just stay at my desk. I assisted in military duties, travelled around Anbar province, hung out with a wide variety of Marines. Phil Klay stay just media military I saw so many radically different versions of Iraq. It would have been difficult for me to come back and think, 'This is the Iraq experience.' Phil Klay back think me experience One thing I've always liked about the military is there's a certain amount of pragmatism. Phil Klay about always one-thing military I doubt there's anything you could say to Donald Rumsfeld that would puncture the armor of his narcissism. Phil Klay say anything you doubt It's a professional military. You sign up and agree to allow your countrymen to use your life as they see fit for the next four years. And I think we all should have a greater role in ensuring that we use those lives wisely. Phil Klay professional think you life I started with things that I was troubled by or confused by or interested in, and then I wrote stories to try to puzzle my way through it. But the question is not how to represent war, because it's an abstract thing that's felt differently for all the characters. Phil Klay puzzle confused war way A lot of times, you're interacting with people for whom you're one of the very few veterans that they've met or had a lot of interactions with, and there's a temptation for you to feel like you can pontificate about what the experience was or what it meant, and that leads to a lot of nonsense. Phil Klay feel you experience people
