I want to die in my own way. It's my illness, my death, my choice. This is what saying yes means. Jenny Downham More Quotes by Jenny Downham More Quotes From Jenny Downham And in bed, deep inside the building, are all the headaches that won't go away. The failed kidneys, the rashes, the ragged-edged moles, the lumps on the breast, the coughs that have turned nasty. In the Marie Curie Ward on the fourth floor are the kids with cancer. Their bodies secretly and slowly being consumed. And then there's the mortuary, where the dead lie in refrigerated drawers with name tags on their feet. Jenny Downham cancer kids lying when I was four I almost fell down the shaft of a tin mine and when I was five the car rolled over on the motorway and when I was seven we went on holiday and the gas ring blew out in the caravan and nobody noticed I've been dying all my life Jenny Downham holiday car dying Hold my hand. Don't let go. Jenny Downham dont-let-go letting-go hands Are you afraid, Tessa? Jenny Downham It's as if a child with a brush and too much enthusiasm has been set free with a tin of black paint inside me. Jenny Downham tin black children I imagine horses in the engine, their manes flying, their breaths steaming, their nostrils flaring as they gallop. Jenny Downham horse imagine flying No, really. I free you.' I don't want to be free. Jenny Downham want Three points for the dead slowly prising open the lids of their coffins. They want to hunt the living. They can't stop. Their throats have turned to liquid and their fingers glint under the weak autumn sun. Jenny Downham coffins autumn three It's utterly beautiful not to know my own edges. Jenny Downham my-own knows beautiful Cal says that humans are made from the nuclear ash of dead stars. He says that when I die, I'll return to dust, glitter,rain. If thats true, I want to be buried right here under this tree. Its roots will reach into the soft mess of my body and suck me dry. I'll be re-formed as apple blossom. I'll drift down in the spring like confetti and cling to my family's shoes. They'll carry me in their pockets to help them sleep. What dreams will they have then? Jenny Downham stars dream spring . . . my bones they'll burn or bury. It'll be my death. Jenny Downham bones We make patterns, we share moments. Sometimes, I think I'm the only one to see it. Jenny Downham patterns sometimes thinking Like a tree losing its leaves. I forget even the thing I was thinking. Jenny Downham losing tree thinking Then she says, ‘I love you.’ Like three drops of blood falling onto snow. Jenny Downham love-you blood fall Moments. All gathering towards this one. Jenny Downham moments gathering The light is heart-breaking. Jenny Downham heart-breaking light heart It hurts and hurts to have him this close. I feel sick with it. Jenny Downham broken-heart sick hurt I mean it. Whatever happens, you have to believe that. Jenny Downham whatever-happens mean believe It's a shame i can't be there myself - i like parties. Text me if you think of any good hymns! Jenny Downham hymns party thinking I don't think words reach people. Maybe nothing does Jenny Downham doe people thinking
