I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly. Joan Rivers More Quotes by Joan Rivers More Quotes From Joan Rivers I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning. Joan Rivers feylooksthinking I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her. Joan Rivers comedysupportmen I have to tell you that it's not going to be easy. Take every chance and every opportunity that you can. Don't say 'I can't' or 'I shouldn't' or 'I'm too tired.' Joan Rivers tiredchanceopportunity Every television show you go on is a choice. Joan Rivers choicesgoes-ontelevision I’m never without a bandage. Joan Rivers plastic-surgerybandages Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. Joan Rivers chinstelephoneschinese Boy George is all England needs. Another queen who can't dress. Joan Rivers queensdressesboys I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. Joan Rivers lifethinking I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool. Joan Rivers countrychildrenthinking She's so fat, she's my two best friends. Joan Rivers hillarioustwo-best-friendstwo I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show. Joan Rivers terrifiedstageshows I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving. Joan Rivers presidentagewant She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees. Joan Rivers hillariouskneessarcastic My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller. Joan Rivers parentingmotherhoodmemories I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter. Joan Rivers i-canageyellow My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth. Joan Rivers cousinparentingmotherhood When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off. Joan Rivers memorablemenyears The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery. Joan Rivers agemenway The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage. Joan Rivers stage Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear. Joan Rivers griefhurtfear
