I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion. Dorothy Parker More Quotes by Dorothy Parker More Quotes From Dorothy Parker I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking. Dorothy Parker anecdotesrainsheep The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back. Dorothy Parker blackmoongone All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me. Dorothy Parker childhoodgodwriting I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for. Dorothy Parker tombstonegivingthinking Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter. Dorothy Parker heartmentwo Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman. Dorothy Parker soulwould-bepeople She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can. Dorothy Parker pawsgiving All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. Dorothy Parker househomeneeds The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism. Dorothy Parker hollywoodbelieveart It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes. Dorothy Parker inner-peacetragedypeace [Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy. Dorothy Parker buttonsnurseletters I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella. Dorothy Parker superlativesumbrella Tonstant Weader fwowed up. Dorothy Parker If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it. Dorothy Parker oscarscredittrying I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon. Dorothy Parker shieldsweaponsmay I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true. Dorothy Parker writtenmindlong Everybody's got their troubles. Dorothy Parker trouble The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink. Dorothy Parker inkeducationschool ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon. Dorothy Parker shieldsweaponsmay Innocence is a desirable thing, a dainty thing, an appealing thing, in its place; but carried too far, it is merely ridiculous. Dorothy Parker innocenceridiculousbehavior
