I would be so exhausted by my determination that I had no strength left to do the actual work. Etty Hillesum More Quotes by Etty Hillesum More Quotes From Etty Hillesum Sometimes I long for a convent cell, with the sublime wisdom of centuries set out on bookshelves all along the wall and a view across the cornfields--there must be cornfields and they must wave in the breeze--and there I would immerse myself in the wisdom of the ages and in myself. Then I might perhaps find peace and clarity. But that would be no great feat. It is right here, in this very place, in the here and the now, that I must find them. Etty Hillesum wallcellsviews Life is good, after all...and that's what stays with me, even now, even when I'm about to be packed off to Poland. Etty Hillesum stay-with-mepolandlife To live fully, outwardly and inwardly, not to ignore the external reality for the sake of the inner life, or the reverse, that's quite a task Etty Hillesum taskssakereality Sometimes my day is crammed full of people and talk and yet I have the feeling of living in utter peace and quiet. And the tree outside my window, in the evenings, is a greater experience than all those people put together. Etty Hillesum feelingstreepeople Every day I shall put my papers in order and every day I shall say farewell. And the real farewell, when it comes, will only be a small outward confirmation of what has been accomplished within me from day to day. Etty Hillesum farewellreallove I don't think I have nerves of steel, far from it, but I can certainly stand up to things. I am not afraid to look suffering straight in the eyes. Etty Hillesum eyesufferingthinking Slowly but surely I have been soaking Rilke up these last few months: the man, his work and his life. And that is probably the only right way with literature, with study, with people or with anything else: to let it all soak in, to let it all mature slowly inside you until it has become a part of yourself. That, too, is a growing process. Everything is a growing process. And in between, emotions and sensations that strike you like lightning. But still the most important thing is the organic process of growing. Etty Hillesum importantmenpeople One must also accept that one has 'uncreative' moments. The more honestly one can accept that, the quicker these moments will pass. Etty Hillesum honestlyacceptingmoments Every word born of an inner necessity - writing must never be anything else. Etty Hillesum bornwriting Our desire must be like a slow and stately ship, sailing across endless oceans, never in search of safe anchorage. Then suddenly, unexpectedly, it will find mooring for a moment. Etty Hillesum sailingoceandesire Life cannot be captured in a few axioms. And that is just what I keep trying to do. But it won't work, for life is full of endless nuances and cannot be captured in just a few formulae. Etty Hillesum nuancelife-istrying We have to fight them daily, lake fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies. Etty Hillesum fightinglakesworry I'm afraid I did not pray hard enough last night. Etty Hillesum lastsprayernight I think what weakens people most is fear of wasting their strength. Etty Hillesum strengthfearthinking Everything is chance, or nothing is chance. If I believed the first, I would be unable to live on, but I am not yet fully convinced of the second. Etty Hillesum destinyluckwould-be I keep remembering from my early student days how I would walk at night through the streets, my hands bunched into fists in the pocket of my coat, my head hunched deep into my collar, and how I used to say, 'I want to work, I shall work'--and then I would come back home and be so exhausted by my determination that I had no strength left to do the actual work. Etty Hillesum determinationhomenight Here, beside this great black surface that is my desk, I feel as though I am on a desert island. Etty Hillesum blackislandswriting After each creative act one has to be sustained by one's strength of character, by a moral sense, by I don't know what, lest one tumble. Etty Hillesum moralcreativecharacter Greed probably figures in my intellectual life as well, as I attempt to absorb a massive amount of information with consequent mental indigestion. Etty Hillesum informationgreedintellectual We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought. Etty Hillesum
