If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. Tom Lehrer More Quotes by Tom Lehrer More Quotes From Tom Lehrer If you asked me to write a rock song or a rap song, I couldn't do it because they're not in my fingers. Tom Lehrer rap writing song Once you've heard the joke, it's not funny anymore, but it's the way it's told. And I think that's the same with the music: The reason some of my songs have lasted longer is there's a lot of stuff packed in there. You want to hear them more than once. Tom Lehrer want song thinking If I see a movie star in the department store buying something, I'll kind of sidle up and see what they're saying, what they look like, how they sound. That's an invasion of privacy. Tom Lehrer buying-something stars sound I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record. Tom Lehrer reading dark writing Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife. Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life. But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways, We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days. Hearts full of youth, Hearts full of truth, Six parts gin to one part vermouth. Tom Lehrer college heart past The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted. Tom Lehrer preaching audience I find enough mystery in mathematics to satisfy my spiritual needs. I think, for example, that pi is mysterious enough (don't get me started!) without having to worry about God. Or if pi isn't enough, how about fractals? or quantum mechanics? Tom Lehrer spiritual worry thinking They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines. Tom Lehrer marine politics doubt We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares. Tom Lehrer hate song peace I find that people can pass me on the street who've just seen my picture in the paper and they wouldn't recognize me. If they'd seen me on television, the heads turn. They say, "Wait a minute. I don't know who that is, but he's somebody. Tom Lehrer paper waiting people I find that if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene-or, as they say in New York, sophisticated. Tom Lehrer ridiculous new-york song For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast! Tom Lehrer sight beautiful men Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers. Tom Lehrer eight missing two I don't have the temperament of a performer, and I certainly couldn't do it every night. Tom Lehrer temperament performers night When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines! Tom Lehrer war peace moving Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things! Tom Lehrer wondrous advertising humorous Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air! Tom Lehrer hippie air water And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go. Tom Lehrer bereavement achievement comforting So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV Tom Lehrer mom waiting long Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry. Tom Lehrer potatoes together world
