If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny. Tracy Morgan More Quotes by Tracy Morgan More Quotes From Tracy Morgan My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. Tracy Morgan sense-of-humorturkeysreality And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly. Tracy Morgan butterflyblackbeautiful They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining. Tracy Morgan houseopportunitythinking Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. Tracy Morgan newsspeedlight Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life. Tracy Morgan trailblazerspathjoy I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me. Tracy Morgan who-i-ammirrorsself My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back." Tracy Morgan girlrunningcheating I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that. Tracy Morgan stubbornnessmotherfather In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here. Tracy Morgan heartlongsex The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society. Tracy Morgan gaytryingson Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. Tracy Morgan competitionrockswhite I'm old, and so busy with work, that I like to just stay home and get my sleep now. I try not to burn both ends of the candle. Tracy Morgan homesleeptrying Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life. Tracy Morgan tonesometimesthinking If you don't laugh, you're going to cry and people are crying. That's why I guess you have lots of people like comedians to keep us laughing. Tracy Morgan comedianlaughingpeople Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don't care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don't mind. Tracy Morgan princessdaughtergirl I see the ups and downs. I see the mistakes I've made. I see a funny person. I see a serious person. I see a diamond. I see the good times. I see the bad times. And I see knowledge of self. I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me. Tracy Morgan serious-personmirrorsmistake Eddie [Murphy] is an icon. He's one of the reason why I started doing comedy in the beginning. He opened a lot of doors for black people. Tracy Morgan iconsdoorspeople When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it. Tracy Morgan goldheartchildren Outside of show business, I live a normal life. Tracy Morgan normal-lifenormalshows Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee. Tracy Morgan entertainersfrankultimate
