If I knew I was going to die at a specific moment in the future, it would be nice to be able to control what song I was listening to; this is why I always bring my iPod on airplanes. Chuck Klosterman More Quotes by Chuck Klosterman More Quotes From Chuck Klosterman The problem a lot of writers have is that they really, really enjoy people saying, "You're brilliant." They let their self-perception be dictated by reader response. But if you're going to let other people make you feel good, you're going to end up feeling bad when they say the opposite. You've got to be a cultural stoic. Then you won't be devastated by people who respond negatively. Of course, the downside is that it sort of stops you from being able to enjoy people liking your work. Chuck Klosterman self opposites people -- and it occurred to me that people who don't talk about themselves are limiting their own potential. They think they're guarding themselves for some sort of abstract dange, but they're actually allowing other people to decide who they are and what they're like. Chuck Klosterman guarding people thinking What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself? Chuck Klosterman underwear improvement lying If you’re the type of person who wants to associate exclusively with those who perfectly mirror your own ethical worldview, you’re reducing significantly the scope of your potential life experience. Chuck Klosterman life-experience mirrors want People can demand someone they've never met be arrested and thrown in jail forever because they know it's never going to happen and they're never going to see this person. Chuck Klosterman jail forever people The strength of your memory dictates the size of your reality Chuck Klosterman size memories reality I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it’s done wonders for the advancement of computer technology. Chuck Klosterman advancement technology doubt It's possible this whole "Why do Latinos love Morrisey?" question will haunt us forever. Fortunately, Canadian academics are on the case. Chuck Klosterman latino cases forever Unless you're Shannon Hoon (of Blind Melon), dying is the only thing that guarantees a rock star will have a legacy that stretches beyond temporary relevance. Chuck Klosterman rocks stars dying I remember saying things, but I have no idea what was said. It was generally a friendly conversation.” —Associated Press reporter Jack Sullivan, attempting to recount a 3 A.M. exchange we had at a dinner party and inadvertently describing the past ten years of my life. Chuck Klosterman party past years But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse. Chuck Klosterman apocalypse jordan causes I hate motorcycles. Because if I hit one, even if it's not my fault, if I've done nothing wrong, I'm not charged with manslaughter, he's gonna die, because he's on a motorcycle. So I have to live my life knowing that I killed this guy. Chuck Klosterman guy hate knowing If you're doing an interview, you need conversational tension. After you talk to them, you're not going to have a relationship with them, they're not going to like you, they're not going to be your friend. Chuck Klosterman interviews talking needs In baseball and sex, cliches are usually true: pitching beats hitting, and people always want to be loved by anyone who doesn't seem to care. Chuck Klosterman baseball sex people Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable; impracticality almost seems cool. Chuck Klosterman fake-people real trying Coldplay songs deliver an amorphous, irrefutable interpretation of how being in love is supposed to feel, and people find themselves wanting that feeling for real. They want men to adore them like Lloyd Dobler would, and they want women to think like Aimee Mann, and they expect all their arguments to sound like Sam Malone and Diane Chambers. They think everything will work out perfectly in the end (just like it did for Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones and Nick Hornby's Rob Fleming), and they don't stop believing because Journey's Steve Perry insists we should never do that. Chuck Klosterman real song believe It might sound chauvinistic, but there is a sad reality in rock music: Bands who depend on support from females inevitably crash and burn. Chuck Klosterman rocks support reality Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument. Chuck Klosterman argument arguing We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled. Chuck Klosterman assuming would-be bears We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any two people to live. Chuck Klosterman beer two people
