If life is envisioned as a continuously running motion picture, the keeping of a notebook stops the action and allows a meaningful scene to be explored frame by frame. Jo Coudert More Quotes by Jo Coudert More Quotes From Jo Coudert The divorced person is like a man with a black patch over one eye: he looks rather dashing but the fact is that he has been through a maiming experience. Jo Coudert divorce eye men Affection may be abiding and love may be abiding, but the state of being in love is transitory. Jo Coudert being-in-love and-love love-is Operating in an unlit world, the unconscious mind is a brilliant detective. Jo Coudert detectives mind world At what age should one marry? As a rule of thumb, perhaps not until you are past the age of feeling strongly that you must marry. Jo Coudert age feelings past cookbooks, I found, are intended for people with time to cook - and, surprisingly often, for people who already know how to cook. Jo Coudert cooking found people To live with the terrible truths about ourselves is the only way of not living them out. A need denied has infinitely more power than a need accepted. Jo Coudert denial way needs It takes an enormous amount of energy, creative energy withdrawn from the total economy of the person, to hold a trait underground, and, unfortunately, needs and drives do not go underground alone; they carry with them useful parts of the personality, depriving it of richness and the possibility of a variety of response. Jo Coudert energy creative personality Almost anything can be stretched to serve more people by being added to a white sauce or canned gravy or undiluted or very slightly diluted canned soup and served over noodles or rice. With chops or chocolate eclairs, however, the only solution is to claim you don't like them. Jo Coudert cooking white people Most people ask of their friends that they understand them, but, on balance, I think I prefer a friend who understands himself. Jo Coudert friendship people thinking It is one of those quirks of human nature that you love the person whom you treat well, not necessarily the person who treats you well. Jo Coudert quirks treats human-nature If a man has a sense of identity that does not depend on being shored up by someone else, it cannot be eroded by someone else. If a woman has a sense of identity that does not depend on finding that identity in someone else, she cannot lose her identity in someone else. And so we return to the central fact: it is necessary to be. Jo Coudert identity doe men The people trying to change others can conveniently be termed the angry, while the people trying to change themselves might be called the guilty, although it would be just as descriptive to speak of the controlling and the dependent, or the paranoid and the repressive, or, inelegantly, the screamers and the criers. In some circles, attaching labels to people rates only a little higher than chicken stealing, because ... a label immediately ends attempts to understand the individual. Jo Coudert circles trying people One does not marry to become a judge of the spouse's behavior. If a marriage license is mistaken for a hunting license and disapproval, punishment, and threat of withdrawal of love are employed as weapons, all one bags is one's own unhappiness. Jo Coudert hunting punishment judging Hardening of the hearteries is the most serious affliction besetting marriage, and warm, good-humored, approving words are the only effective preventive. Jo Coudert affliction serious heart Self-affirmation cannot be found in love; it is a prior condition of genuine love. Jo Coudert genuine-love affirmation self We can win the struggle to avoid responsibility for our personal lives, but if we do, what we lose is our lives. Jo Coudert responsibility struggle winning A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the experiences that taught us. Who can remember being born? Yet, it is possible to speculate that anxiety has its roots in this experience, that dread of abandonment, fears of separation, intolerable loneliness go back to this moment. Who can remember being cared for as an infant? ... Who can remember being toilet-trained? ... Who can remember the attachment which developed to the parent of the opposite sex? ... We cannot remember but what we have forgotten lives on dynamically. Jo Coudert loneliness roots sex The more deeply the path is etched, the more it is used, and the more it is used, the more deeply it etched. Jo Coudert habit used path
