If they'd wanted a nice parrot, they wouldn't have asked for me. Gilbert Gottfried More Quotes by Gilbert Gottfried More Quotes From Gilbert Gottfried I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching. Gilbert Gottfried remote-controlhittingpeople What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami. Gilbert Gottfried hebrewjewracism I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny. Gilbert Gottfried comedyusedfaces If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.' Gilbert Gottfried lunchwarworld There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive! Gilbert Gottfried certainwantthinking My family originally lived in Brooklyn. Our first apartment was a little place above my father and uncle's hardware store in Coney Island. Now, don't get the impression that we were surrounded by merry-go-rounds, roller coasters and Ferris wheels. Nope, this was a little side street. Gilbert Gottfried unclesislandsfather I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks. Gilbert Gottfried remarksinappropriateknown With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow as a big event it doesn't seem to carry as much weight with the public as 9/11 did. Gilbert Gottfried eventstragedyweight Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp. Gilbert Gottfried mistaken I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home. Gilbert Gottfried homecountrypeople There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience. Gilbert Gottfried wowideasthinking If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever. Gilbert Gottfried waitingforeverpeople If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. Gilbert Gottfried tasteifs One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels. Gilbert Gottfried doctorsfightingpeople I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny. Gilbert Gottfried usedexplainingpeople My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young. Gilbert Gottfried ageyounglittles I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it? Gilbert Gottfried mitzvahhousemean I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me. Gilbert Gottfried beverly-hillspartysong R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher Gilbert Gottfried carriestarswar If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, dont laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as groaning or rolling your eyes. Then you wait for his next joke; if thats funny, then you laugh. If its not, you dont laugh - or at very worst, you can leave quietly. Gilbert Gottfried eyewaitinglaughing
