Gary Chapman: If you are sitting on the couch with the TV off, and you...

The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.

Gary Chapman

beloved persons perfect

We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I am going to learn how to return good for evil, and I am going to make a difference in this world.

Gary Chapman

differences hurt attitude

Gifts need not be expensive; after all, "it's the thuoght that counts." But I remind you, it is not the thought left in your head that counts; it is the gift that came out of the thought that communicates emotional love.

Gary Chapman

communicate emotional needs

I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.

Gary Chapman

cant-change influence people

Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.

Gary Chapman

language-of-love average ideas

God has the potential of touching people's hearts and changing them.

Gary Chapman

touching heart people

I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we still had great struggles.

Gary Chapman

struggle christian book

I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.

Gary Chapman

real acceptance thinking

Isolation is devastating to the human psyche.

Gary Chapman

human-psyche isolation humans

Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.

Gary Chapman

powerful love-is believe

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, then there is really no hope for you to have a good relationship. That is another myth that we have to throw off, so that we can get into what I call Reality.

Gary Chapman

dysfunctional-family good-relationship reality

I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that?" I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are hopeless.

Gary Chapman

feelings people thinking

The reality is, if you go to the library and read biographies, thousands of people have changed, radically changed. St. Augustine was one of them. He lived a terrible a life for the first 33 years, and then he radically changed.

Gary Chapman

reality people years

Very few alcoholics get into a treatment program until they are at the end of the rope, often when they feel like they are about to lose something that is important to them, namely a wife or their family. The same is true with those who are physically and verbally abusive.

Gary Chapman

rope wife important

Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?

Gary Chapman

influence matter negative

By nature, most people are controlled by their emotions. They feel sad, so they look sad.

Gary Chapman

emotion people looks

Sex is the joining of two bodies; love is the joining of two souls.

Gary Chapman

love two sex

Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty LOVE TANK.

Gary Chapman

language-of-love tanks children

I think people desperately want to feel love.

Gary Chapman

want people thinking

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.

Gary Chapman

positivity feelings commitment

If you are sitting on the couch with the TV off, and you are looking into each other's eyes and talking, that is quality time - so is taking a walk or going out to eat, so long as you are communicating with each other.