If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises. Jacob M. Appel More Quotes by Jacob M. Appel More Quotes From Jacob M. Appel Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad. Jacob M. Appel catholic should home The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him. Jacob M. Appel boss ifs sleep Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win. Jacob M. Appel revenge winning people Much as we do not permit convicted pedophiles to teach kindergarten or convicted hijackers to board airplanes, common sense dictates that individuals who have been imprisoned for plotting violence against abortion clinics should never again be permitted anywhere near such facilities. Jacob M. Appel abortion common-sense airplane Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform. Jacob M. Appel uniforms girl tombstone The most dangerous ideas are not those that challenge the status quo. The most dangerous ideas are those so embedded in the status quo, so wrapped in a cloud of inevitability, that we forget they are ideas at all. Jacob M. Appel dangerous-ideas challenges clouds If freedom means anything at all, it is the right to primacy in regard to sexuality, reproduction, medical care and death. Jacob M. Appel medical care mean Maybe that is the greatest of wonders: that we can be shaped so much by those we've known closely, and equally by those we've never known at all - and that we too can change the world long after we've left it. Jacob M. Appel wonder long world If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty. Jacob M. Appel teenager twenties wanted Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself smaller to fit inside the hopes of the other, until one of you cracks or stops existing. Jacob M. Appel dolls reflection trying Most people are far more concerned that they can control their own bodies than they are about petitioning Congress. Jacob M. Appel congress body people Such is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry about how to extend their lives. This anxiety inevitably shortens my own. Jacob M. Appel physicians anxiety worry Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness. Jacob M. Appel tour-guides guides poor I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing. Jacob M. Appel convincing used dream Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date. Jacob M. Appel clean-underwear optimistic ifs I can handle being married for my money; it's being married for my life insurance that gives me pause. Jacob M. Appel give-me married giving A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys. Jacob M. Appel monkeys today people A free society, to be truly worthy of that name, owes healthy, competent individuals the right to end their lives on their own terms. Jacob M. Appel individual healthy names I suspect that the vast majority of people, not knowing in advance whether they will either end up in a permanently vegetative state or be diagnosed with cancer, would prefer that any resources that would be spent on PVS care be reallocated to cancer research - or some similar enterprise that has the potential to help human beings who might actually recover. Jacob M. Appel cancer knowing people I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square - but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those that I possess in my bedroom and hospital room and death chamber. Jacob M. Appel grateful squares rights
