If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm. Kinky Friedman More Quotes by Kinky Friedman More Quotes From Kinky Friedman Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her. Kinky Friedman tired beautiful beauty I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space. Kinky Friedman texas space needs I'll sign anything except bad legislation. Kinky Friedman legislation There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face and a chill up the spine of every politician. Kinky Friedman texas spirit faces They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down. Kinky Friedman politics taken jesus Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him. Kinky Friedman sims persons country I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care. Kinky Friedman broads care young I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school. Kinky Friedman prayer-in-school prayer school The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship Kinky Friedman writing fiction art I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes. Kinky Friedman falling-in-love talking life William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. Kinky Friedman patron saint Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test. Kinky Friedman mark tests students We've had to be creative to get on the ballot. Kinky Friedman be-creative ballots creative The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. Kinky Friedman tattooed teacher This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind. Kinky Friedman broken children way Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way. Kinky Friedman christian heart jesus Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day. Kinky Friedman cuban-cigars eight would-be The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one. Kinky Friedman limousines gutters distance I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! Kinky Friedman oklahoma war If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins. Kinky Friedman aces would-be names
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