If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one. Evan Esar More Quotes by Evan Esar More Quotes From Evan Esar Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them. Evan Esar congress giving people Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies. Evan Esar hog community helping To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him. Evan Esar being-true teenager approval Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes. Evan Esar voting citizens government There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity. Evan Esar common-sense stupidity kind The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense. Evan Esar common-sense form common The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed. Evan Esar wife coffee morning A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell. Evan Esar home men country A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer. Evan Esar apples wife men Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess. Evan Esar age chess men A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming. Evan Esar another-woman charming ready A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience. Evan Esar corporations individual privilege An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise. Evan Esar infinite actors men Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings. Evan Esar divorce cry easy A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa. Evan Esar dollars cynicism vices A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where. Evan Esar vacation wife men A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one. Evan Esar keeping-your-mouth-shut skills special You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read. Evan Esar knowing literature men Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock. Evan Esar wedlock divorce keys Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy. Evan Esar divorce husband ifs