If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt. Nick Offerman More Quotes by Nick Offerman More Quotes From Nick Offerman I worked mostly in television drama for my first few years. I just kept guesting on NYPD Blues and CSI-like stuff, so when I started getting work in comedy, a lot of people in the business would say, 'Oh - I didn't know you did comedy.' Nick Offerman comedy drama people People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not. Nick Offerman brilliant writing people I'm always pleased that I managed to stay out of jail throughout my tenure in Chicago. Nick Offerman tenure jail chicago I'm obsessed with the Victorian era and the British Royal Navy... I'd love to play a troubled sailor or captain or a boatman on a three masted ship. Nick Offerman navy three play Before people figured out I was funny, I got cast quite a bit as either a rapist or serial killer or the guy who catches those people. Nick Offerman serial-killer guy people When I got my job on Parks, it was so dreamy, kind of unfathomable. I didn't think a job that excellent could exist for me. Nick Offerman parks jobs thinking I also grew up building theatrical scenery. I spent many years building scenery as a large part of my income and that allowed me to really develop my shop skills. Nick Offerman income skills years People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I don't want to be fired. Nick Offerman upset real people I have a corn creamer that I love. It extracts pulp and juice from kernels, and I simmer that down into a creamed corn that has an almost mashed potato-like consistency. I add butter and hit it with chopped fresh chives at the end for an accent of color. Nick Offerman corn consistency color I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats. Nick Offerman pork cooking house Being a man of the theater and a hedonist, I find the idea of building coffins very romantic. Nick Offerman coffins men ideas I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat and also in Kabuki dance and Kabuki theater. Nick Offerman chicago scene fighting Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy. Nick Offerman breakfast-food eggs thinking My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities. Nick Offerman achievement wife thinking It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent. Nick Offerman artistic growing-up kind If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day. Nick Offerman hours-in-the-day home watches I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one. Nick Offerman fourth-grade grades growing-up Whatever it is you like to do, that's the sexiest part of you. Nick Offerman sexiest I spent a lot of my youth working outside in the elements, and I kind of revel in defeating tough weather. Nick Offerman work-out weather snow The quest for the next key art awards begins with tomorrow's hangover Nick Offerman hangover awards art