In families children tend to take on stock roles, as if there were hats hung up in some secret place, visible only to the children. Each succeeding child selects a hat and takes on that role: the good child, the black sheep, the clown, and so forth. Ellen Galinsky More Quotes by Ellen Galinsky More Quotes From Ellen Galinsky Understanding child development takes the emphasis away from the child's character--looking at the child as good or bad. The emphasis is put on behavior as communication. Discipline is thus seen as problem-solving. The child is helped to learn a more acceptable manner of communication. Ellen Galinsky communication character children Often, when there is a conflict between parent and child, at its very hub is an expectation that the child should be acting differently. Sometimes these expectations run counter what is known about children's growth. They stem from remembering oneself, but usually at a slightly older age. Ellen Galinsky expectations running children If you never allow your children to exceed what they can do, how are they ever going to manage adult life - where a lot of it is managing more than you thought you could manage? Ellen Galinsky adults can-do children There is nothing intrinsically better about a child who happily bounces off to school the first day and a child who is wary, watchful, and takes a longer time to separate from his parents and join the group. Neither one nor the other is smarter, better adjusted, or destined for a better life. Ellen Galinsky parent children school Child care is an invisible part of the economy. Ellen Galinsky invisible care children In a study that I just did, I found that it was older children, not younger children, who felt that they didn't have enough time with their parents. Ellen Galinsky enough-time parent children It gives us more flexibility, so we can do more, but it also creates the expectation of the instant response. It can take away your sense of control over your time. Ellen Galinsky over-you expectations giving The colicky baby who becomes calm, the quiet infant who throws temper tantrums at two, the wild child at four who becomes seriousand studious at six all seem to surprise their parents. It is difficult to let go of one's image of a child, say goodbye to the child a parent knows, and get accustomed to this slightly new child inhabiting the known child's body. Ellen Galinsky letting-go baby goodbye Parenthood brings profound pleasure and satisfactions--the unparalleled pleasure of caring so intensely for another human being, of watching growth, of reliving childhood, of seeing oneself in a new perspective, and of understanding more about life. Ellen Galinsky perspective caring profound Cultural expectations shade and color the images that parents-to-be form. The baby product ads, showing a woman serenely holding her child, looking blissfully and mysteriously contented, or the television parents, wisely and humorously solving problems, influence parents-to-be. Ellen Galinsky motherhood baby children
