In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series. Craig Kilborn More Quotes by Craig Kilborn More Quotes From Craig Kilborn I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed. Craig Kilborn greedy sensitive thinking Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.' Craig Kilborn stronger writing book President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.' Craig Kilborn numbers jobs war President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield. Craig Kilborn iraq president war Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch. Craig Kilborn cutting broken night I have a wonderful respect for old people. Craig Kilborn old-people wonderful people I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population. Craig Kilborn bitter population may People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife. Craig Kilborn sex people years I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese. Craig Kilborn red wine retirement Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.' Craig Kilborn ohio race running Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke. Craig Kilborn sorry people years Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress. Craig Kilborn justice lying years Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year. Craig Kilborn stripes roles years As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings. Craig Kilborn nice reading summer Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark. Craig Kilborn safe dark looks Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network. Craig Kilborn staff deals waiting On Sunday, the president flies to the Azores islands to attend a summit with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar, and here's my prediction: Bush gets voted off. Craig Kilborn sunday president islands Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy. Craig Kilborn eight secret names Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape? Craig Kilborn orange tape yellow George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17 Craig Kilborn numbers hands thinking
