In my case, I was not frightened in the least bit at the thought that I might live because I was certain, quite certain, that I was already dead. Elizabeth Wurtzel More Quotes by Elizabeth Wurtzel More Quotes From Elizabeth Wurtzel I wonder if any of them can tell from just looking at me that all I am is the sum total of my pain, a raw woundedness so extreme that it might be terminal. It might be terminal velocity, the speed of the sound of a girl falling down to a place from where she can't be retrieved. What if I am stuck down here for good? Elizabeth Wurtzel pain girl love In a typical mental health catch-22, the alienating nature of depression tends to keep its sufferers from finding their way to the very support groups that might help them. Elizabeth Wurtzel typical groups support Jesus, I wondered, what do you do with pain so bad it has no redeeming value? It cannot even be alchemized into art, into words, into something you can chalk up to an interesting experience because the pain itself, its intensity, is so great that it has woven itself into your system so deeply that there is no way to objectify or push it outside or find its beauty within. That is the pain I’m feeling now. Its so bad, its useless. The only lesson I will ever derive from this pain is how bad pain can be. Elizabeth Wurtzel pain art jesus I become one of those people who walks alone in the dark at night while others sleep or watch Mary Tyler Moore reruns or pull all-nighters to finish up some paper that's due first thing tomorrow. I always carry lots of stuff with me wherever I roam, always weighted down with books, with cassettes, with pens and paper, just in case I get the urge to sit down somewhere, and oh, I don't know, read something or write my masterpiece. I want all my important possessions, my worldly goods, with me at all times. I want to hold what little sense of home I have left with me always. Elizabeth Wurtzel home writing book It is so hard to learn to put sadness in perspective so hard to understand that it is a feeling that comes in degrees, it can be a candle burning gently and harmlessly in your home, or it can be a full-fledged forest fire that destroy almost everything and is controlled by almost nothing. It can also be so much in-between Elizabeth Wurtzel sadness home depression Sometimes it feels like we're all living in a Prozac nation. The United States of Depression. Elizabeth Wurtzel united-states depression sometimes Into every sunny life a little rain must fall. Elizabeth Wurtzel rain littles fall I dont know if im running because i'm scared or if i'm scared because i'm running. Elizabeth Wurtzel scared knows running And she keeps saying, how can you do this to me? And i want to scream, what do you mean, how can I do this to you? Aren't we confusing our pronouns here? The question, really, is How could I do this to myself? Elizabeth Wurtzel confusing want mean My God, I could raise a family of six children and hold down a full-time job with all the energy I expend on depression! Elizabeth Wurtzel energy jobs children I could not bear the deep freeze settling around my bones at the thought that yet another attempt to get out of my life alive would end in disappointment. Time became palpable and viscous. Every minute, every second, every nanosecond, wrapped around my spine so that my nerves tightened and ached. I faded into abstraction. A self-generated narcosis created a painful blank where my mind used to be. Elizabeth Wurtzel disappointment self mind Depression is all about if you loved me you would. As in, if you loved me you would stop doing your schoolwork, stop going out drinking with your friends on a Saturday night, stop accepting starring roles in theater productions, and stop doing everything besides sitting here by my side and passing me Kleenex and aspirin while I lie and creak and cry and drown myself and you in my misery. Elizabeth Wurtzel drinking night lying I’ve been looking for a feeling like that everywhere I go. I’ve been waiting for someone to see all the good in me at every truck stop and intersection along the way. I’ve been waiting all my life for the moment to arrive when I can just stop. Stop looking Elizabeth Wurtzel waiting feelings way Taking a hypersensitive approach to life had come to seem so much more pure and honest then joining the ranks of the numb masses who could let it all slide by. What I stopped realizing was that if you feel everything intensely, ultimately you feel nothing at all. Everything registers at the same decibel. Elizabeth Wurtzel joining slides honest As soon as I was out in the street, I realized I didn't want to be alone after all, I realized I didn't want to be anything at all. Elizabeth Wurtzel wants-to-be-alone streets want Sometimes, I get so consumed by depression that it is hard to believe that the whole world doesn't stop and suffer with me. Elizabeth Wurtzel suffering believe world I have studiously tried to avoid ever using the word 'madness' to describe my condition. Now and again, the word slips out, but I hate it. 'Madness' is too glamorous a term to convey what happens to most people who are losing their minds. That word is too exciting, too literary, too interesting in its connotations, to convey the boredom, the slowness, the dreariness, the dampness of depression. Elizabeth Wurtzel hate depression people ...occasionally I wished I could walk through a picture window and have the sharp, broken shards slash me to ribbons so I would finally look like I felt. Elizabeth Wurtzel self-harm broken suicide Sometimes I think that I was forced to withdraw into depression because it was the only rightful protest I could throw in the face of a world that said it was alright for people to come and go as they please, that there were simply no real obligations left. Elizabeth Wurtzel real depression thinking Feminism is a good venue for getting yourself across as much as for getting your point across. Elizabeth Wurtzel feminism feminist literature
