In real life, comedians aren't funny. Michael Showalter More Quotes by Michael Showalter More Quotes From Michael Showalter I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time. Michael Showalter cat cute mean A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it. Michael Showalter feelings people thinking I calculated that if I wrote five pages a day, which seemed very doable, I would have an 1,800-page first draft when the deadline rolled around. Though completely unwritten, I was very impressed with how long my first draft would be. Michael Showalter pages would-be long I think gay people deserve all the same rights as everybody else, it's just that marriage is specifically for a man and a woman. Michael Showalter gay men thinking In my perfect world order, it is cold all the time. Everyone wears sweaters and drinks coffee. People don't speak to each other; they read the newspaper. There is no loud music, and cats are in charge. Michael Showalter sweaters cat coffee Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not. Michael Showalter confusing love-is thinking I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories. Michael Showalter details comedian stories I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything. Michael Showalter comedy different trying I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. Michael Showalter views world thinking I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too. Michael Showalter ifs writing book I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. They have no concept of their behavior or how it might be affecting other people. So comedically, it's a very fun type of character to play. They are bulls in a china shop, twenty-four seven. Michael Showalter fun character thinking I just made a movie. There's a kind of a banter that some people might recognize as being screwball. There are no cell phones, no DVD playersit's set in a timeless Brooklyn. Hopefully, it's a good, old-fashioned movie. Michael Showalter dvds phones cells For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets. Michael Showalter brooklyn-bridge bridges mean I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet. Michael Showalter outlets wise fun That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up. Michael Showalter comedian real people If your dad is anything like mine, then you have no clue what to buy him for Father's Day. The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No. 5 perfume.' Michael Showalter fathers-day dad mom I feel like marriage is a sacred institution that should only be between a man and a woman. If a gay couple wants to be married, why can't they just be satisfied with a civil union? Why do they have to get "married"? Michael Showalter gay couple men Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild. Michael Showalter cat behavior window I don't personally feel comfortable performing in a comedy club, mainly because as an audience member, I've never enjoyed that experience. It feels a little bit theme-park-ish to me, in that it's a club whose product is comedy. I find that weird. It's like those specialty chocolate stores, where everything is chocolate. It's too specific. I like going somewhere that specializes in variety. Michael Showalter performing comedy chocolate I am very athletic, actually, and I'm good at most sports. But I was never a successful athlete, because I have a lot of trouble with authority. To be a good athlete, you have to have sort of a military attitude. You have to enjoy being coached, and that was not something I ever liked. But more than that, I don't like practice, and coaches hate anybody that doesn't like practice. If you saw me throwing a football, you'd say, "Wow, he knows how to throw a football." But put me on a field, I'm not gonna stand out. Michael Showalter attitude football sports
