Intense pain often pushed me to make changes. The pain of the eating disorder pushed me into recovering from eating-disordered behaviors, and then the emotional turmoil I experienced without those behaviors (not knowing how to cope with perfectionism, feelings, and life in general) took me even further, so that I ultimately found serenity.

Jenni Schaefer

Categorized in : Knowing Pain Emotional

To stay in recovery, you must be responsible for finding your own motivation. Remember, motivation may not be easy to come by at first. It will probably be a very small, timid part inside of you. When you find it, let that part be in charge. Let the minority rule and lead you to a life you never dreamed was possible

recovery minorities motivation

I went from really hating my body, to disliking it, to accepting it but not exactly liking it, then accepting it and liking it, and now I love it.

teens hate healing

Replace perfectionism with persistence. After all, in recovery and life, it's persistence that really pays off. Forget about perfection.

persistence recovery perfection

Connect with supportive people who empower you. The more you jump into your life, the further away from Ed you can get. Don't have a backup plan for living. Live today. [...] Trust in God. Believe in yourself. Get friends and family members to stand behind you. That's the only backup you'll need.

empowering believe people

Recovery is about making room for the real me to exist. by Jenni Schaefer

Recovery is about making room for the real me to exist.

recovery real rooms

Real hope combined with real action has always pulled me through... by Jenni Schaefer

Real hope combined with real action has always pulled me through difficult times.

difficult-times real action

I would not encourage you to go through the sweat, blood, and tears of the recovery process only to reach some kind of mediocre state where you were just 'managing' the illness. It is possible to live without Ed.

recovery sweat blood

In the past, I was a perpetual victim; how I was doing in any given moment depended on what happened to me. Today I do my best to avoid this kind of 'victim thinking.' Instead, how I am doing is determined by how I respond to what happens to me.

today past thinking

Sometimes I felt lonely because I pushed people away for so long that I honestly didn't have many close connections left. I was physically isolated and disconnected from the world. Sometimes I felt lonely in a crowded room. This kind of loneliness pierced my soul and ached to the core. I not only felt disconnected from the world, but I also felt like no one ever loved me. Intellectually, I knew that people did, but I still felt that way.

lonely loneliness long

Oftentimes, especially during my recovery, I didn't need to think about everything I was doing wrong; instead, I needed to focus more on what I was doing right-and then do more of the right stuff. I needed to live more in the solution.

recovery focus thinking

Being thin created intense anxiety that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight for life, and I couldn't.

anxiety able weight

Ironically, this physically weak feeling signifies that I'm actually getting stronger. I know from my past that I will ultimately feel strong if I just sit with the feeling and experience it.

strong feelings past

Anita Johnston, Ph.D., author of Eating in the Light of the Moon, taught me to look in the mirror with curiosity rather than fear. So I may look at my reflection and think, 'That's interesting. I wonder why my body seems bigger today than it did yesterday. Maybe it's water weight. Maybe it's my outfit. Or maybe my eyes are just playing tricks on me.' I know it's not possible for me to gain a noticeable amount of weight overnight, so I will go no further than that. I move on with my day without skipping a beat-and definitely without missing a meal.

eye moving thinking