It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world. Al Franken More Quotes by Al Franken More Quotes From Al Franken I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people. Al Franken nsa i-can people Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate. The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had. He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks. Al Franken guy feet years You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny. Al Franken should firsts thinking Does the mainstream media have a liberal bias? On a couple of things, maybe. Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them. Al Franken gay media couple Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to! Al Franken should-have want mistake There are as many forms of advice as there are colors of the rainbow. Remember that good advice can come from bad people and bad advice from good people. The important thing about advice is that it is simply that. Advice. Al Franken rainbow color people We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow. Al Franken love mean years When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both. Al Franken encounters comedy advice I'm sure I've devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime. Al Franken devoted enough lifetime I think Hell exists on Earth. It's a psychological state, or it can be a physical state. People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell. I think there are all kinds of different hells. It's not a place you go to after you die. Al Franken bipolar people thinking The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life. Al Franken religious christian thinking The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies. Al Franken pieces drug might The next thing I am doing is moving back home to Minnesota and getting involved in politics. I'm looking at a run for Senate in 2008, but in the meantime I am focused on knitting together the progressive network in the upper Midwest. Al Franken moving-on home running I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks. Al Franken personal-attacks comedy people The reason I wrote political satire was because I thought it - politics - was important... that public policy was important. Then I transitioned into books, then into radio. Al Franken political important book The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone - in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens. Al Franken balance vision citizens When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn't exist, and we didn't need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online. Al Franken tv-shows worry writing I got interested in politics during the civil rights movement and then Vietnam. Al Franken vietnam movement rights The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families. They're trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they're worried about declining home values, they're scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq. Al Franken college home kids I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit. Al Franken cutting people fall