It takes awareness that it's not only not a bad thing to let others do things their own way, it is in fact an improvement. It makes life richer and more interesting. Carolyn Hax More Quotes by Carolyn Hax More Quotes From Carolyn Hax It's hard to send your baby off on a plane without you, though that's less reasonable, because sending him off in a car is statistically a bigger risk. Carolyn Hax car risk baby You don't want someone who can't tell the difference between having a different opinion and dismissing your opinion. Carolyn Hax differences different want The most reliable ways to make oneself miserable are attempting to change people and not attempting to change circumstances. Carolyn Hax miserable people way Relationships are complicated, but happiness in a relationship isn't: It's just wanting exactly what you have. Wanting something else is dispiriting. Carolyn Hax complicated happiness I think a person who arranges the event and orders the food also picks up the check - even the birthday person, even when people at the table insist on paying for the birthday person. Carolyn Hax order people thinking Separation is where you see if it works better with the adults in two different homes. Carolyn Hax adults home two People who make babies surrender their right to behave like them. Carolyn Hax surrender baby people Your parents' views are, by current standards, out there. Getting in their faces about it would be needlessly disrespectful, but there's no reason for you to tiptoe through their delusional little terrarium as if you can't bend even one blade of grass. Carolyn Hax parent views littles I actually recommend as little actual counting as possible in a life partnership. But, when there's a sense of injustice brewing between you, some counting is inevitable, and so my advice is to count using as broad a scope as possible. It's not just hours worked or chores done, either, and it's not even just about the household - it's a system of Whole Marriage Thinking. It's about hours worked, chores done, goals supported, emotional needs met, everything. What it all takes out of you, what it all gives back. It all factors in. Carolyn Hax emotional giving thinking There's nothing wrong with being happy somewhere, even if it's the little pond you grew up in, as long as you are in fact comfortable vs. bored. Carolyn Hax ponds bored long I'm sure there are people who can toggle quickly from all-in caregiving to structured socializing, but I can't think of any offhand. Carolyn Hax caregiving people thinking There has been, for some reason (or more likely an unfortunate accumulation of reasons) a trend over the past several decades for parents to do the work of parenting in the isolation of their own homes - and not only that, this trend has overlapped with the other trend of much deeper parent involvement in raising kids. That you also represent trend No. 3, more people raising kids solo, has only exacerbated a close-to-no-win situation. Carolyn Hax winning home kids Awkwardness is when there's a risk of a perception gap between what you mean and what you appear to mean. Carolyn Hax risk perception mean You can't make someone agree with you, not even when you're 100 percent sure you're right. Carolyn Hax percent agree I do crosswords when I have time to kill somewhere, and am 100 percent successful on filling in the spots I get stuck on - after I close up, do something else, and then go back to it. Carolyn Hax time-to-kill filling-in successful When you fail to see something, that doesn't mean I'm hiding it. Carolyn Hax hiding failing mean We all make deals with ourselves when it comes to the difficult people in our lives. Carolyn Hax people-in-our-lives difficult people For me, the greatest source of frustration was trying to work with a willful child when there was something else I wanted - say, to get the child to go to bed so I could have my own time. Just the promise of the time, and feeling that promise slip away, was enough to introduce a whole other element of stress into the encounter. Carolyn Hax frustration stress children Bodies and minds need breaks or the work suffers, this has been proven and reproven to the point where we don't even need to post links to support it. Carolyn Hax support suffering mind Once given, a gift is yours to use, store or dispose of as you see fit. Carolyn Hax stores fit use
