Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe. Joseph Heller More Quotes by Joseph Heller More Quotes From Joseph Heller It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character. Joseph Heller wisdomtruthinspirational When I grow up I want to be a little boy. Joseph Heller growing-upinspirationalchildren Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it. Joseph Heller earthcivilizationmean In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental. Joseph Heller failurerunninglong The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them. Joseph Heller rightsexercisecountry The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society? Joseph Heller insanedepressionmen Every writer I know has trouble writing. Joseph Heller young-writerstroublewriting You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail. Joseph Heller failinganswersmight History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil. Joseph Heller electric-motorslightcountry [They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything. Joseph Heller educatepeople There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Joseph Heller crazywould-bewant The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on. Joseph Heller wisdomsuicidedeath The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. Joseph Heller ignorancelawmean He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody. Joseph Heller failureselfmen Major Major had lied, and it was good. He was not really surprised that it was good, for he had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful and ambitious and successful than people who did not lie. Joseph Heller successfullyingpeople What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for. Joseph Heller fightingwarcountry There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to. Joseph Heller wantedmightpeople ¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨ Joseph Heller winningwarpeople ...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for. Joseph Heller worth-livingdying Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts - and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society? Joseph Heller crazymenbook
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