Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one. Samantha Bee More Quotes by Samantha Bee More Quotes From Samantha Bee I don't read anything about myself. Samantha Bee I want to get a gold star. And I know that there are places that I need to go in order to get the story right. I'd rather do it right than have to do it twice. Samantha Bee stars gold order I don't feel like any of the things we're talking about are going to make the world end. Samantha Bee ends talking world I was brought up to question things, but I was always a really quiet and shy child. Samantha Bee shy quiet children If you get mad about how your voice sounds when it comes out of your own mouth, it's not really my fault. Go ahead and be yourself. Samantha Bee being-yourself mad voice It's weird how you can make people feel comfortable, and then ask them an uncomfortable question, but it doesn't ruin their day. Samantha Bee ruins uncomfortable people You've got to have gumption. You've got to be willing to stand up on the stage for no money for ten years. Samantha Bee gumption stage years I'm good at asking other people questions, but I'm not really good at answering questions. Samantha Bee answering-questions asking people Nobody wants to have things blurted at them. Samantha Bee want It's very Canadian of me - or maybe it's more the Catholic schoolgirl in me - but I always really want to do a good job. Samantha Bee catholic want jobs Everybody is agreeing so tersely. I just had a flashback to the month before my parents finally admitted they were getting a divorce. Samantha Bee divorce months parent I am a cookbook fanatic. Samantha Bee cookbook fanatics I believe in breakfast. It's the one meal that my kids usually eat without a fuss, so that's huge. As for myself, I can't function without it, and I see it as a great way to get some healthy greens in, some coffee, and on a good day, maybe even some news of the world via the newspaper. Samantha Bee good-day coffee believe Don't judge me. I made a lot of money. Samantha Bee dont-judge-me money judging I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children's birthdays too. Samantha Bee hate birthday children It's not every day people fly you to New York for auditions. Samantha Bee new-york people new-day I get maximum satisfaction out of buying children's clothes online. Samantha Bee clothes buying children I think that my love of cooking grew out of my love of reading about cooking. When I was a kid, we had a bookcase in the kitchen filled with cookbooks. I would eat all my meals reading about meals I could have been having. Samantha Bee reading kids thinking It is so expensive to take care of my hair and keep it looking like I was born with it, when my real hair is the color of rat fur. Samantha Bee color real hair The best part about poker is there's no down side. Samantha Bee casinos gambling sides