Love is more than simply being open to experiencing the anguish of another person's suffering. It is the willingness to live with the helpless knowing that we can do nothing to save the other from his pain. (23) Sheldon B. Kopp More Quotes by Sheldon B. Kopp More Quotes From Sheldon B. Kopp If outrageous imagination is the wine of madness, then come fill my cup. Sheldon B. Kopp cups wine imagination It has been a long time since I believed in Reality. I prefer the loveliness and the terror of my subjective experiences to those coldly scientific explanations which in the long run turn out to be no more real, and far less fun, than my own fantasies and musings. Sheldon B. Kopp real running fun Again and again I find that my own inner counselor, my secret dreaming self, is not only wise and helpful but usually amusing as well. Sheldon B. Kopp self wise dream We must learn to give ourselves permission to blunder, to fail, and to make fools of ourselves every day for the rest of our lives. We do so in any case. Sheldon B. Kopp fool failing giving You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences. Sheldon B. Kopp responsibility faces needs We are all born into families and cultures we didn't choose, given names we didn't pick, instructed in behaviour and values we might not have freely chosen, and too often we end up expected to live lives designed by others. Sheldon B. Kopp live-life names culture Each of us is ultimately alone. Sheldon B. Kopp So it is that God tugs at a pilgrim's sleeve telling him to remember that he is only human. He must be his own man, remain in exile, and belong to himself. He must pay attention to his own feelings and to the meaning of what he does, if he is to be for himself, and yet for others as well. Sheldon B. Kopp doe feelings men The therapist can interpret, advise, provide the emotional acceptance and support that nurtures personal growth, and above all, he can listen. I do not mean that he can simply hear the other, but that he will listen actively and purposefully, responding with the instrument of his trade, that is, with the personal vulnerability of his own trembling self. This listening is that which will facilitate the patient's telling of his tale, the telling that can set him free. (5) Sheldon B. Kopp emotional acceptance mean You win some, you lose some, and your losses are never made up to you. She will simply have to do without; like it or not, she must face her losses and her helplessness to undo them. Sheldon B. Kopp up-to-you winning loss Anarchy could never get a man to the moon, but it may the only mode that can allow us to survive on earth. Sheldon B. Kopp moon may men Sometimes it seems to me that in this absurdly random life there is some inherent justice in the outcome of personal relationships. In the long run, we get no more than we have been willing to give. Sheldon B. Kopp running giving long Maintaining the illusion that I am in control is futile, lonely, and in the long run more always costly than the effort is worth. Sheldon B. Kopp lonely running long So it is that there is nothing to be taught, but yet there is something to be learned. Sheldon B. Kopp taught Escape is not a dirty word. None of us can face what's happening head-on all of the time. Sheldon B. Kopp dirty-words faces dirty The unlived life isn't worth examining. Sheldon B. Kopp examining There appear to be many people who chose to go crazy (or become alcoholics, addicts, criminals, suicides) rather than have to bear the pain and ambiguity of a life situation that they have decided that they cannot stand. (98) Sheldon B. Kopp pain crazy suicide All significant battles are fought within self. Sheldon B. Kopp significant battle self The adult May fly lives only a few hours, just long enough to mate. He has neither mouth nor stomach, but needs neither since he does not live long enough to need to eat. The eggs the May fly leaves hatch after the parent has died. What is it all about. What's the point? There is no point. That's just the way it is. It is neither good nor bad. Life is mainly simply inevitable. (41) Sheldon B. Kopp eggs parent long But after a while, she began to experience the new reality of each person as being as strong and as weak as anyone else. Slowly, she learned that each of us grown-ups has as much and as little power as the other, and that we had best learn to take care of ourselves.(83) Sheldon B. Kopp care strong reality
