Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office. Joseph Heller More Quotes by Joseph Heller More Quotes From Joseph Heller You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate." "Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously. Joseph Heller hate hypocrite people Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck. Joseph Heller destiny good-luck simple I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life. Joseph Heller responsibility running negative I can't start writing until I have a closing line. Joseph Heller closing lines writing I’m cold,' Snowden said softly, 'I’m cold.' 'You’re going to be all right, kid,' Yossarian reassured him with a grin. 'You’re going to be all right.' 'I’m cold,' Snowden said again in a frail, childlike voice. 'I’m cold.' 'There, there,' Yossarian said, because he did not know what else to say. 'There, there.' 'I’m cold,' Snowden whimpered. 'I’m cold.' 'There, there. There, there. Joseph Heller cold voice kids Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective. Joseph Heller adjectives one-day hands Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did. Joseph Heller colonels asks people They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady. Joseph Heller catch-22-important Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence?" "Yes, sir, it has." "Then why do you do it?" "To assuage my fears of sexual impotence. Joseph Heller subconscious pursuit trying She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled. Joseph Heller epitome sorrow You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot! Joseph Heller tradition taken military There was only one catch and that was catch 22 Joseph Heller yossarian catch-22-important There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy. Joseph Heller combat crazy want I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any. Joseph Heller miracle long believe I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me. Joseph Heller flippant would-be writing Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window, and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage. The spirit gone, man is garbage. That was Snowden's secret. Ripeness was all. Joseph Heller fire men fall Catch-22 did not exist, he was positive of that, but it made no difference. What did matter was that everyone thought it existed, and that was much worse, for there was no object or text to ridicule or refute, to accuse, criticize, attack, amend, hate, revile, spit at, rip to shreds, trample upon or burn up. Joseph Heller rip differences hate What do you do when it rains?" The captain answered frankly. "I get wet. Joseph Heller wet captains rain When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?' Joseph Heller tempted done writing You wouldn’t be normal if you were never afraid. Even the bravest men experience fear. One of the biggest jobs we all face in combat is to overcome fear. Joseph Heller overcoming jobs men